This is going to be short! I’m heading out the door. But I hate socks that slip and just had to vent.

I put on some silky brown kneehighs, perfect for my penny loafers… (I’m dressing classic today.) But the darn things don’t have the right kind of elastic at the top, or if they did, the latest washing and drying cycles killed it… so they are beginning to slip. And if I don’t change them now, I know I’ll be one of those people in front of you in the super market line, bending over and yanking on my socks. Embarassing.

So I’m giving in. I’m heading upstairs to change. And I’ll probably toss these out or recycle them at the salvation army box for someone with less svelt legs. You see, that is the root of my problem. I have such lovely calfs, of just the right proportion that I need sophisticated elastic at the top of my hose. Don’t you agree?

Do you ever have this problem?

It snowed yesterday. A lot. I was out in it for a while. Crawled to and from the office…20 mph was speedy. Was supposed to meet a colleague of mine – we were going to do a day of video, promoting a new product for my other blog: golfgurls.com  But the snow fates were against us. She was coming down from Hudson to join me here on the Cape but got stuck behind five snowplows on one of the big highways. You know the kind… five trucks across, ice and salt spitting out the backside at any car that dares to get too close… she finally gave up after following them for ten miles. At the rate she was traveling, it would have taken her three hours to get here. So we cancelled our plans and the day was mine again.

I headed home and not a moment too soon. Car was covered with 5 inches of fast falling snow. I got out of the office parking lot, onto the main road and then inched my way home behind a very slow moving line of traffic. You could see the cars ahead slipping and sliding. In fact, I discovered a new gizmo on my dashboard. Every time my tires started to slide this weird little bright orange triangle with an exclamation point would flash in front of me. “Oh, oh!!! Danger, danger!!! Your tires are slipping! Watch out, Watch Out!” … and what was I supposed to do about it? I didn’t need some strange flashing graphic to warn me that I was losing traction… watching the landscape go by out the side window was warning enough!

Anyway, I got home, shoveled a path to the front door and then stayed in, away from the cold and falling snow. Now, it’s Sunday morning and everything is covered with crusty ice. What a joy! Probably will take me several hours to crack through… of course I could wait till the temp rises and it melts? Maybe by June?

Do you shovel as the snow falls? Or do you wait till you have to dig out?

Did you know that the blue light from your iPad or iPhone or TV makes your brain think it’s daylightand that you should stay awake but you should. After all, who sleeps in the daytime?

What you need, according to Dr. Oz (guru of the TV airwaves), is an orange light. Yup. Orange. Put one in your bedside lamp, stare at it for a half hour before you shut your eyes, and your brain will believe it is sunset. You will fall right to sleep, guaranteed.

Hmmmmm. I sleep with my iPad! Maybe that’s my problem. I like to listen to stories as I fall asleep and there are a few radio channels I’ve found or programs like “This American Life” from PRI that are amusing and help me as I doze off. But I did not realize that the blue light  syndrome – watching TV or playing a game of Hearts on my iPad before my head hits the pillow, tricks my brain into staying awake rather than snoozing.

Of course, more often that not I am listening to some political station late at night. I find the current Republican party’s trek towards self-destruction to be fascinating. Love to listen to those blowhards go on and on about how fabu they are…. and of course, that just causes my brain to kick into gear, and it keeps me awake, thinking about politics.

I’ve got to change my channels. And of course, buy an orange bulb. Anyone have some left over Halloween lights I can borrow?

If it wasn’t for free shipping LLBean would be bankrupt. In fact, if they keep sending me jackets cut way too small, they will be bankrupt. And I got bed sheets after all. Confused? Here’s the story.

I got sheets for Christmas this year. Really nice sheets. Soft yellow sheets made for a King sized bed. That was the first problem. King sized sheets – a little big for my double mattress. In fact almost double the size. No matter how I pulled and stretched trying to tuck the oversized sheets into shape… It was a waste of money and time. Though the sheets were lovely, I decided I needed a jacket more. So I got the info from the giftee of the sheets and sent them back for an exchange. Sheets for a short chino jacket. Red. Size?  My size of course. Back the sheets went to LLBean! Easy peasy. Free shipping!

Five days later the red chino jacket arrived. Excited, I immediately tried it on. Too small. The label said it was my size, but the Pygmys must have made it. Tiny little people who obviously don’t have broad shoulders or breasts.  There was a two inch gap in front. No way was I going to pour myself into this jacket. But before sending it back for a fair exchange, I called LLBean for size advice.

“I just got a jacket made by the little people,” I told the sales rep. “No way is this jacket the right size!” She defended her company.  ”I’m sorry for your troubles, ma’am but all our manufacturers follow strict sizing instructions. Standard sizing.”

We want back and forth a bit about the problems with sending all our U.S. jobs overseas and the fact that the women of Thailand are tiny, but the argument was going nowhere.

“So what size do you recommend I get in exchange?” We decided on the next size up. The sales rep was a big woman and understood my issue with cup sizes and broad backs. “I think the next larger size will be fine. The sleeves might be a little long but they are designed to have a cuff.” I agreed. Packed up the jacket and sent it back. Easy peasy. Free Shipping.

The replacement jacket arrived this afternoon. Tried it on immediately. Just so happened the original sheet giftee was visiting and I wanted her to see what I got in place of those king sized yellow sheets.

I knew as soon as I tried to twist my arm into the sleeve that the second red jacket was not going to fit. Yes, it was the next biggest size, but still too small. The little women of Thailand were still enjoying their little joke. I’m sure they work from the patterns sent to them, manufacturing the jackets to exact specifications. They just change the labels and size everything down three levels. A 10 label is really a 6, a 12 is really a size 8, and a 14 is actually closer to a 10!!!

I’m certain it’s a conspiracy to bankrupt LLBean. If the company is constantly having to pay both ways for shipping products and exchanges, they can’t last. UPS charges will send them to the bottom of the retail ladder, and i will still be barely squeezing into my clothes.  I know, LLBean is a big company and I’m just paranoid. But there might be a shred of truth to the argument. Yes?

I will call the company in the morning and order an exchange. But this time I’m jumping two sizes. maybe then they’ll get it right. Sigh.

Do you have these problems? Or am I the only giant in the world when it comes to getting things to fit?

It’s dreary and raw here in the northeast, but by 5pm this evening I shall be in the sunshine of Florida. Off for a week of warm weather and good times.

Yesterday, the fam celebrated thanksgiving. Great food, good conversation… the crowd around the table was smaller, as the “kids” grow up they have other places to be. None of the five guys are married yet, so no new “little feet” running about. We are all pretty settled in our current spaces… whether in front of the appetizers or the football game. It was quiet and peaceful and quite fine. I mentioned that this blog had crashed recently. One of the relatives thought how appropriate, as the blog needs a little more energy, more controversy, more “something” to get him to keep visiting.

So I shall start being a bit more edgy. And we shall see. Will sparks fly?

Do you rotate your mattress? Last night I ended up sleeping in a dip. The mattress needs to be flipped. By 1 a.m. and still awake, I headed for the other side near the far wall. The surface was flatter—not as much dip. I finally fell asleep.

Drugs are good and an open window letting the cold night into the room all helped, but the mattress needs to be flipped. Back home, I’m thinking of getting one of those tempur pedic mattresses. They’re supposed to form to your body, support every bump and lump. But I hesitate. They are very expensive, but isn’t my health worth the best?

Does anyone out there have a decent mattress they can recommend? I need help big time.

I know for most of my readers the thought of stopping all that you are doing long enough to do nuthin’ is a far off dream. We are all so very busy about so many things. It always takes me a couple of days to slow down enough to be satisfied with doing nuthin’. It isn’t easy sitting still. It’s hard work. But I do it so well…. at least after those first two days of slowing down. I’m almost at the point where I can go to the pool, listen to music and just relax. Such a task! Of course, with the outside temps now approaching 85 degrees today, my hard work of relaxing is richly rewarded.

I am working on my blog… the fountain in the nearby lagoon sending water high into the air only to have it return with a splash… a never ending background sound… and Oprah on the TV in the next room… she’s introducing Christmas songs to an enthusiastic audience.

Time passes slowly when you are doing nuthin’. Just heard from one of my northern friends… she was inviting me to play computer golf this Friday. Alas… I shall be in paradise on Friday and cannot make it to the make-believe golf course… but I will not gloat. It won’t be long before I am back fighting the cold and windy drifts…

We are in the middle of a major thunderstorm... rain pouring down in the lagoon, our day at the beach foiled. I shall spend time blogging and telling you tales.

It’s been a very lo-key week, just enjoying the sun. I did have one client crisis which, fortunately, I was able to handle because I brought the files with me, just in case. It’s a client that is usually in crisis and having her latest job with me is a smart precaution.

Otherwise, it’s been easy going. Tempted to go to the movies today… “Precious” is a show we all want to see, but it’s a bit depressing and with the rain… today might not be the day.

So what do you think of the Tiger Woods Fiasco? Tell me something I don’t know. The news is filled with more revelations. His injuries came, not from the accident, but from his wife slugging him! I don’t blame her. What is it with these guys? Just heard a commentary on TV news… for guys, a little daliance has nothing to do with love… they do it because they can… but it has nothing to do with the love they have for wife, girlfriend, boyfriend… whoever!… talk about compartmentalization!

Sunny Florida has not been seen for three days. The tropical monsoons have taken residence in Fort Myers. We leave today with suitcases packed, and umbrellas pointed at the sky.

All in all, it’s been a good week, though not quite as we expected. A couple of friends couldn’t stay the whole time, and our hostess had to work three days, so we were left to our own devices… and for the most part, it was good to get away and relax. Last night we played a round of Phase 10 – a wacky card game that goes on for about two hours…much laughter and good natured cheating. I did not win, in spite of all my efforts. And I was NOT the one cheating.

The TV just reported that it will be cold and snowy when we get to Boston this evening… what’s with this weather, anyway?

Got home from vacation quite late last night. Our flight out of Fort Myers was delayed by three hours and we arrived at Logan in the middle of a snowstorm. Our pickup at the airport fought the snarly traffic and slushy roads to meet us when we called. My traveling companion urged me to stay at her house for the night, but I knew if I didn’t right away I would be shoveling snow in the morning. Reports said it was only raining on the Cape, and if I could only drive a few more miles south of the city, the ride would not be too bad. So I set out.

Unfortunately this was the first real storm of the season and the drivers were all very cautious. First storms do that… everyone slowed to a crawl. It took nearly an hour to get as far south as Plymouth to the beginning of the snow/rain line and I still had forty minutes to go. At exit five there is a Hampton Inn… maybe it was worth it to pay $100 and get off the road? Nah. I cranked up the radio – the Saturday Night Reggae Music Station was blasting and that kept me going.

Made it home by midnight. Long drive, good sleep in my own bed. And the sun’s out. Only 40 degrees! but at least there is sun. Alleluia.

Last night, just before I hit the hay, my nose started running. What’s with this? I’ve had my winter cold. It’s ovah! So what’sup with this dribble at the back of my throat?

I’ve been dealing with a low level headache for days… it just won’t quit, and now I know why. Do these viruses lurk in the dark, in the closets of our bodies, just waiting for a vulnerable moment when our defenses are down, we haven’t been sleeping well and we just want to go back to bed? and then these little microbes with their infectious little “gribbles” (I made that up) just grab hold and don’t let go.

So now I’m sucking on Hall’s menthol candies, popping Actifed and Mucinex-MD, and Coricidin M or whatever it is… one at a time and all at once…. just trying to fight back. The fact that a Northeaster is blowing rain and sleet outside doesn’t help… I think I need to go back to bed. Sigh. I posted a short video from YOUTUBE on my “Edge” page… check it out.

What’s your recipe for fighting off the gribbles?

It’s that kind of day. With the holidays just around the corner (which corner?- does time have corners?)—anyway, with a lot of holiday stuff still to do, my cold has to take a backseat… put it on the back burner… (my writing is full of these strange idioms… where do they come from?)… I’m interrupting myself… sorry. Bottom line! I got a lot of stuff to do. So I am popping pills, Sudafed to be exact (bought directly from the pharmacist’s hand as they don’t trust the good stuff to be out on the public shelves anymore – more about that later) and I am heading to the dump. I’ve got so many recycled jars and boxes piled up on the back porch, it’s getting hard to find my way to the door. I’ve put the trip off long enough and thank god for the cold weather or the bags of trash would have a distinct odor by now.

I was supposed to be in town partying with friends last evening, one more of my crowd just went “round the bend.” (Turned 60!) but I had to cancel because of my constant gribbles and the fear that I was infectious.

So today will be a solitary day of popping pills and tossing jars. I have to drag the Christmas decorations up from the cellar and decide which to donate to a good cause. I have so many bits and pieces… it’s beyond understanding. Anyone need a snowman on wheeeeeeels?

Oh, and by the way… I just saw this ad for the Discovery Store… they are having all kinds of sales. Click on it and discover for yourself. TTFN.
. . . . .

I am trying to stay out of the mainstream today… my gribbles are still running… and no need to infect the hordes at the shopping malls… most of my shopping is done anyway, either by going online or by heading out very early to my very favorite local shop for fabu “quality” gifts — Job Lot!!!! Oh. I’m sucha spendah! Such gifts. Such values! There’s nothing like getting the deal of a lifetime on a “quality” gift you can put under the tree, or stuff in a stocking hung by the chiminey. Something that the giftee never even  thought about, wanted, or can use. Such excitement!

This morning in anticipation of the coming holiday, I dragged all the decoration boxes up from the cellar. There are boxes and boxes. Every year we seem to acquire more “stuff” to hang about the house… Stuff for one room or another…. little jingle bells strategically placed so they jingle all the day… or ribbons from which dangle colorful ornaments. We even have a plastic “snowstorm” we’ve hung from the ceiling. Just in case we don’t have snow on the ground on the grand holiday, we can at least imagine it more vividly.

I’m not sure the snowstorm is going to make it to the ceiling this year… I have ideas for stars and floating snowmen instead… One thing for sure… high dusting must be done before anything goes up… then again, perhaps the ornamentation will look more authentic with an “antique” look about it…?

Do you clean before or after you decorate your house for the holidays?

I was hard at work this afternoon, designing, creating, doing all sorts of busy-little-bee things when my office phone rang around 4 p.m. It was a phone call from Paradise. No, not the one above, the lovely paradise below: Fort Myers, Florida. My friend was sitting at her pool in a balmy 84 degrees, sun shining, palm trees waving, the warm water beckoning.

I looked out my window at the cold, grey sky and gritted my teeth. “Lovely to hear from you, friend.” I heard her giggle. The woman had no control. Ok, so I was just in Fort Myers just a couple of weeks ago, and I know most of my readers haven’t been in a warm climate for nearly three months. So I shouldn’t complain. But the contrast — the comparison in weather and atmosphere is almost too dear to bear. Still it was great to hear from her. She’s busy checking on new job opportunities. Always living well and with a song in her heart!

Sigh.

As I write this missive, the clock is ticking towards 6 p.m. I have an hour’s ride in front of me, and I have a few errands to run on the way, so I am about to head out into the cold. But I shall not despair. I shall call upon my memory bank and dream of those waving palms and the warm sun on my svelt body. One can only imagine. It keeps me going.

Ever drive over a pot hole and wonder why the construction crews can’t lay down a better asphalt when they are paving a road? I’ve been doing some research and it seems that how they make asphalt today is with a formula from the dark ages. Weather has a crazy effect on it. Heat in summer makes it soft and freezing cold in winter makes it brittle. No wonder what we get is potholes.

Well, according to my research, there is an additive that they are working on to modify the asphalt during its creation. Polybutadiene! It’s made from recycled tires and when added to the asphalt helps to lesson the dramatic effects of hot and cold.

So why am I bringing this up? With all the talk about rebuilding our economy around new jobs in infrastructure, I’m thinking an investment in bridges, roads, and recycled materials might be worth a shot. Municipal bonds and Polybutadienes!

Whatcha think?

I have been researching my ancestors for a while now and I have only two more pieces of information needed before I can apply to Ireland for dual citizenship. A couple of marriage certificates to prove that I am the offspring of the offspring of the offspring… that’s all that’s needed and I shall be full of Blarney before you know it. So I’m off to the Massachusetts archives office this afternoon.

It’s fascinating to find out that there were farmers and blacksmiths, poachers and soldiers in my past… all those mahvelous personal qualities I take for granted… stamped into my genes. Discovering one more layer brings a sense of connection to those who have gone long before and I shall be sharing it all with my siblings this season. Hope they’re not bored.

I’ve been able to go back four generations or so… at least so far. Do you ever dig in your past?

The town I live in here on the Cape does wonders with its coastline and sandy shores in the summertime, but when it comes to plowing the snows of winter… our little village is at the bottom of the plow list. My family arrived last evening, they flew into Boston from the west coast, and lucky for them, all connections, flights, buses etc. ran on time and got them here without incident. The adventure began for me when I had to drive the short 10 miles to the Sagamore Bridge bus stop to pick them up.

Of course I had to first shovel and snowblow my way out of the driveway. Thanks to my very strong and courageous sister who lives not far away and is a wizard at the blower, we managed to free the car in only two hours…. I’m telling you, we got slammed with two feet of the white stuff and it took that long…. we still have another car buried somewhere in a drift, but that’s work for today.

Anyway, traveling by car was treacherous… ruts left by ugly SUV 4 wheel drive wagons made my little car slip and slide…. made me wish I had a Hummer, though my environmental guilt won’t allow such extravagance…

Bottom line… it took about an hour to go the 10 miles, but all was well and good and safe and now, this morning we are eating pancakes and the guys are ready to go do more shoveling.

The house has been filled with comings and goings for the last few days! Family, friends, kids, toys, gifts, feasts of turkey and ham, ice cream, stockings chockablock full with goodies… and a tree covered with trinkets and flashing lights… you know, chaos. It’s what makes the holidays so bright and gay!

I’ve not been able to find the peace and quiet to get to the computer… or to sort out my thoughts, mixed up as they are… but all has been fun and fine. Tomorrow, more good times await when family from Pennsylvania and Virginia arrive and we begin the feasting anew.

I, for my part, am heading north to my bed to take a nap. Will arise for home made lasagna, wine and song in a while… but the pillows await. TTFN. And here’s wishing your holiday is as much joy and chaos.

The gang from PA and VA arrive today… more food and a scrabble tournament for sure. We already have the “brain food” waiting in the wings — Chocolate covered peanuts! in honor of the Queen of Scrabble who always supplied her subjects with mobs of such treats.

I have been practicing inventing words, especially the two letter kind that sound and are obscure, but are still real words, i.e. en, em, ab, ad, these are real in the world of scrabble. Look ‘em up and see.

So it’s run to the supermarket, liquor store, clean the house, make the turkey salad for sandwiches… and it all begins again. Such fun. Only lasts for these two weeks… then quiet descends again and the winter snows lock me in. It’s important to savor the moment. They all move way too fast.

It’s been over a week since I’ve been to the office… the formal office. I have a home office and I’ve done a few odds and ends for work since the holiday week began. But today, the 28th, is the first I’ve sat at my formal office desk. It’s a transition. Opened mail, paid bills, organized files… not much happening and I must admit I am really tired from all the serious partying. One more night — a gathering around the leftovers… I think I will head back early to avoid traffic and a winter storm that is slowly crossing New England.

I think “dipping” into the melee of work is best done, one or two hours at a time. Don’t you agree? But hark!!! I just remembered, the house is filled with wild children playing noisy video games on an X-Box machine. Sigh. There is no escape. I guess I will just stay put and drink more coffee!

The holidays were grand. Lots of good times, good people, good food – too much good food. Many thanks to each and every one who came, who enjoyed, who partied!

I drove my sister and her family to the bus station late this morning. Snow was falling but it did not seem to delay the bus, and their plane took off just a few minutes late. Come Monday, all will be back to work, school and busy lives.

Today, I am spending doing little or nothing. It’s a good day to just veg out. They are still predicting more snow tonight and I might end up shoveling in the morn. But for now, it’s all peace and tranquility. Welcome 2010. Here’s hoping it will be a great year.

It’s a fun thing to decorate a Christmas Tree, but a painful reminder of time passing when you take it down. Here on Cape Cod, we de-decorated on Friday, yanked the pine out the front door and set it in a snow bank in the front yard for the birds to enjoy for a bit. It finally ended up as stacked firewood to warm the hearth in the cold months ahead.

Some people love their Christmas Tree so much they keep it up and fully decorated at least until January 6, the feast of the three kings, and some manage to keep it till February 2, the final day of the Christmas season according to the “official” church calendar. There are even a few compulsed souls like the pastor of our church in the town in which I grew up, who loved Christmas so much they kept their tree lit, decorated and clearly displayed in the front parlor window of the church rectory until at least mid April. I know this to be true, because my Dad was the one who would finally take it down. I think the pastor had one or two bulbs a little loose, but that’s only my opinion.

So when do you take down your tree?

This morning I heard a very interesting story on NPR’s morning edition. All about tracking the cost of your electricity use. How much does it cost to turn on the AC for a few hours? Or the washing machine? How much does that load of laundry really cost you to dry in the dryer?
You can find out if you have a SMART METER installed in your home.

It’s said that information is power but could information mean less power, when it comes to electricity use? Environmentalists and makers of so-called smart meters are convinced that’s the case. They say if consumers could see in real time how much power they’re using, they’d conserve more. But some behavioral economists say no way. They say electricity is so cheap that real-time information might lead people to run their lights and gadgets even more. – from the NPR website

Companies, among them, Google, are developing these SMART METERS for use in the home and you can track the money you spend when you turn on certain appliances or lights. It’s all about saving $$ and the environment.

I know that I cut my electric bill by 30% when I replaced all the tungsten bulbs in the house to those weird looking energy bulbs. 30%!!!! honest. Now if I can ever get my hands on a SMART METER, and see what things cost, I may never toast again!

Here’s the link to the story… you can listen in.

I admit I’m addicted to HD TV. It’s so clean and defined… old analog shows are fine… but I love High Definition, and I pay for it. Comcast.net is about to update my account and increase my bill. I just had a call into them to see how we can negotiate down, and the line went dead. This is not cool.

Do any of you have the triple bundle? phone, internet and HD TV? Around here that package costs about $114/month and it’s going up!!! Any suggestions? any tricks of the trade you can share? I need my phone, I need my internet of course… and the TV? I lived with basic cable for a very long time and it is BORING… so I kicked it up a notch…

Maybe I need to turn it all off and read a book. Appreciate your ideas people.

I’ve got to buy some Comcast stock! Don’t know if its a publicly traded company, but somebody is making a @#%! of a lot of money off the backs, telephones, tvs and computers of a #$%@ of a lot of people who have little or no choice or say in the matter.

Let me be more specific! I just got off the phone with my Comcast salesperson (took about a half hour to get through, by the way, their computers were down!!!)… anyway… my Starter Triple Play package is done, finished, kaput in mid February. If I don’t do anything, it will automatically reset to the “ordinary” Triple Play Package price… which is roughly $165/month. For this I get hi-speed internet access, national telephone service and HD TV with a few more channels than the basic package. Nothing special, no premiums… just news etc. That comes to $1,980 a year!!!! Wowsa! Not only that, but I have a cell phone that costs me $100/month…. or $1,200 a year!!!! That’s over $3,000 just to stay “in touch” with the world…. TOOOOO MUCH.

So what are my options…. I need the hi-speed internet because I work out of my home half the time, but I don’t need the Nationwide phone service…my cell will take care of that… and the TV? can I live with the $10 sub basic package which brings in about 20 stations and that’s it?

I haven’t read a whole book in almost a month… TV bags my attention, but I notice there isn’t much on these days… mostly gruesome re-runs of Bones or Law and Order… and I hate reality shows.

I have to make a decision before mid-February…. If I could manage a “bundle” package that saves me a bundle, I would do it… just thinking what I could do with that extra $$$$ — just think of the golf trips I could take!

I have to stop at OfficeMax on the way home today to pick up a magnifying glass. No I am not going blind and I don’t need it to read the newspaper — at least not yet!

What I do need it for is to examine some new immigration documents I found on the internet. My irish relatives from Jenkinstown can be traced up until the late 1800′s and then— poof! They fell off the map. Immigration to the states might be the reason. I have a document dated 1894 that notes a 6 year old Ellen Archer arrived in New York…this could be my great aunt but the names listed with her are very fuzzy and nearly unreadable… thus the reason for the new glass of magnification.

This genealogy thingy is quite addictive… a bit of a mystery map leading where?

I was out with a couple of associates this afternoon, having lunch and planning some strategies to grow one of my blogs: golfgurls.com (another venture for a prosperous future)… Anyway, I showed my friends the new business card for the blog. It shows a woman in her early thirties swinging a golf club. I mentioned (foolishly) that although it was not a picture of me swinging the club, I wanted to leave the impression with my readers that I was younger than I actually am.

It was at that point that one of the women tried guessing my real age.

Now let me first say that I have always considered myself young at heart, young in spirit and young in demeanor. So I was totally crushed when she guessed an age that is three years older than my actual age! I’m not telling you what that number was, but suffice it to say, her wild guess was just the thing to put me in a royal funk.

Of course, I immediately guessed her age and deliberately added about 10 years to what I knew was the correct age… and so the evil exchange continued. You can imagine the steam pouring from my ears.

We laughed about it later, no hard feelings and all that, but really!!! Do I really look three years older than I really am?

I need to shave my head.

I am cleaning house this morning in preparation for some friends visiting… granted, they will arrive after the sun goes down and the dust may not be terribly obvious… but if they move any book on the shelf, horrors! I remember listening to Quentin Crisp – a talk show guest from Britain once declared he hadn’t dusted his house in six years. “It’s perfectly fine unless you move something.”

I agree, but irish catholic guilt and the need to scrub overcomes my lazy attitude.

But where does it all come from? I dusted three weeks ago! And I hardly move in the house… just upstairs, downstairs, to the TV, to the fridge… that’s about it… and to the washing machine in the cellar. Maybe that’s the thing. The dust and cobwebs in the cellar are legendary… perhaps I am dragging it all upstairs with my clean laundry. Where else could it come from?

Here in Massachusetts we are in the last days of a very tight senatorial race. The democratic candidate, Martha Coakley was thought to be a sure winner back about sixty days ago, but her main opponent, republican, Scott Brown has been surging ahead and is now, according to the polls, in the lead.

I have to admit I have not been following the race closely until now, and only caught bits and pieces of the debates and news coverage… but one thing I did discover and wonder about, is the full page, full-frontal photo spread of Scott Brown published in Cosmopolitan in 1982. He was 22 years old and voted “America’s Sexiest Man.” I was going to post the photo, but just got some negative vibes from a very shy reader who happened to be near by as I write this missive. If you want to check out the photo spread for yourself, click here.

My point in pointing all this out… what do you think would be the reaction today if the other candidate had something like this in her background… The Scott Brown photo, though noted by the media, has been pretty much ignored as an issue. Maybe because he is a hunk and looked really good in 1982. Would a woman who looked equally fabulous and posed nearly nude in a national magazine, have the issue overlooked when she ran for U.S. senator twenty seven years later? Somehow, I think not.

I’m not trying to promote either candidate here… not my job… but I am pondering the question of double standards. What do you think?

I could comment on the latest election in Massachusetts… bizarre result. Ted Kennedy is rolling over in his grave… but no— I have a more pressing issue to discuss.

Within the last week or so I have received at least three emails, supposedly from UPS (United Parcel Service) or DHL (duh?) telling me a package was unable to be delivered to my address. They supply a tracking number and a zip file is attached. The message claims it is the shipping label and …. well here’s the message…

Hello! The courier company was not able to deliver your parcel by your address.

Cause: Error in shipping address. You may pickup the parcel at our post office personaly!

Attention! The shipping label is attached to this e-mail. Please print this label to get this package at our post office. Please do not reply to this e-mail, it is an unmonitored mailbox!

Thank you. DHL Delivery Services.

Sorry – all the red flags just went up. At first it looks legit, but then notice the misspellings! And besides that I am not expecting a package.  I think this is a total scam and once I click on that attachment my computer is going to be hacked!

If you get one of these messages dump it right away. DO NOT open the attachment. Or forward the email to DHL or UPS and let them know this stuff is out there.

Beware. Anyone else get these emails? Am I the only one? The Wackos Abound!

Yes, congratulate me on dragging my butt to the local workout palace. Lucky me, I got there just before the swarms of good looking 20 somethings arrived and took over all the machines. I managed to put in 7 miles on the stationery bike before exhaustion took over.

Last night I had a couple of glasses of wine, one with dinner, one with TV. At 300 calories a glass, that’s 600 calories of emptiness… This morning it took me 40 minutes of fast walking and biking to take off 250 calories—not even one glass of wine! I am not a happy camper. How is it our bodies rebel like this? They love the sweetness of sugar, the crispy bacon, the melting chocolate, and hate the taste of sweat as it beads on upper lips and runs down foreheads. Yucko. It’s a cruel cruel rebellion. What am I to do? What are YOU to do? Your body is probably bulging in all the “right” places just as mine is. The whole population is bulging.

A friend of mine just sent me a shocking email with photos from shoppers at WalMart. It’s enough to make you, well, gag! I include two of the pics here… You figure it out.

Here’s another…. how can these people go out in public looking like this? Do they not have mirrors at home?

Remember the song from that old commercial… I think it was Ma Bell before the break up… Reach out, reach out and touch someone…. or maybe it was Hallmark cards—I don’t know. Anyway… it struck me the other day as I was driving downtown… how many people were talking on cell phones. They were in their cars, standing on sidewalks, getting gas… everywhere I looked someone was chatting it up. Reach out, reach out…. but don’t touch no one… I know it’s poor English, but you get the point.

It seems to me that we live in an age when emails, cell phones, text messages, facebook, twitter and all sorts of social media are everywhere for us to use… so we can reach out… but don’t touch no one…. don’t actually have an encounter… face to face… always something technological in between… which makes for some strange and sometimes misunderstood communications…

For example… if you have 4,000 followers on twitter does that mean you are really popular? I have thousands of followers myself but they were created by some auto script I stuck on my account. The followers don’t mean a thing… it’s just a number. And facebook – yes I have an account with friends and fans… but with just a few exceptions… these are people who know people I know… but they’re not friends.

When I need to deal with a difficult question with a client, email is an avoidance tactic. Too many times the words you write can be easily misunderstood. Phone calls are best, and face to face even better. Reading someone’s eyes when they speak tells far more than their typing innuendos. CAPITAL LETTERS in email mean I’m SHOUTING at YOU! Wouldn’t you much rather have me just scream in your ear? Huh?

I had a client meeting in town yesterday, in a location just down the street from the Cambridge Cemetery where my paternal grandparents are buried. This is the grandmother I was searching for when I went to Ireland, so I decided to stop by and say “hello” to the ground in which she is interred. Although I had visited the grave a few years ago with my father, I had no clue where in the cemetery I would find the stone. So I stopped at the main office and inquired. I vaguely remembered my ancestors were located on “Mistletoe Path.” My memory was confirmed. Not only that, but the secretary was happy to print off the original orders for the plot including name, age, cause of death, etc. for both my grandparents.

With documents in hand and a map to guide me, I easily found the spot and took pictures. But here is the interesting part. The headstone has their names and dates but those for my grandmother are all wrong. Her name is inverted and her birth date makes her 14 younger than she really was, and five years younger than her husband! She actually was six years older than him and she died not at the age of 44 as the stone would suggest but at the age of 57!!!

Life moves too quickly to muck up such things… and why would anyone fudge with the dates just to make her appear younger? Oh vanity of vanities. My mother did the same thing with my birth certificate… fudging the years so she appeared to be younger than my father.. which was not true.

I guess they really cared about such things back “in the day.” Do we still care now? Does it really matter if you are older or younger than your spouse?

I don’t know about you but this cold weather is taking a toll on my health. My shoulders are frozen… I don’t mean so much by the cold, but by the effort to stay warm. The chill causes my muscles to contract and I find myself with tight tight tight tight muscles and my shoulders are up around my earlobes, all trying to stay warm. I wear heavy sweaters and scarfs and occasionally a hat as I sit here in front of my computer trying to type and sound witty at the same time. It’s not easy.

A good friend recommended a heating pad, one that has an auto shut off so you don’t burn yourself to a crisp… and I use that at night…

I used to have one of those bags of barley that you stick in the microwave and drape over your head to warm the cockles of your brain… but I can’t find it.

Anyway… I’m frozen. What about you?

The other day I took a quick walk around the block, heading for the post office. A simple trip to send off an old unusable electronic device (a palm pilot gizmo thingy that has long stopped working—more on this below). I decided to take the long way home rather than backtrack my steps. This brought me around to the far end of my street where, as I took the turn, I noticed the local “nut case” was sitting in his car. I must explain. This fellow posts signs all over his property, sometimes painted on his white chimney in large black letters. Signs that read: “Thief In The Neighborhood” and “You Bastards!” and “Stay Off My Land!” you get the picture. I think he’s nuts. Or maybe he’s an undercover agent for the FBI, posing as a nutcase because on this day, as I turned the corner there he was sitting in the front seat of his car, with a camera pointed right at me! He was taking my picture!

I was tempted to wave or smile or even walk right up and say hello. But he would probably blow me away with a six barrel shot gun if I came anywhere near his property line, and then you wouldn’t have Chapman Deering sending you such cheery posts every once in a while.

- – - – -

About those electronics… check out this website: http://www.gazelle.com They will recycle whatever you send them… and even pay you too. Unfortunately, they don’t take back printers.

I just got the heating bill for the latest oil delivery. Yikes! From now on I keep the temp at 45 degrees! Let the pipes freeze! I’ll wear mittens. Actually, I promise not to do that. (I rent you see, and the landlord would not be happen if there was a flood in the cellar from broken pipes… but the temptation is there all the same.)

Anyway… thinking of heating oil, and the latest bill, caused me to go into the back room and turn down the thermostat a few more degrees. (No pipes in that part of the house.) I’ve hung curtains at all the windows, and closed them against the drafts so the room is dark and cold right now. But just as I was about to leave the room I heard the strangest rattling as if something were beating on the windows. I looked to my right, to the one window near the dining room table, and I could just see between the folds of the curtain, that the window was wide open! The top section had slipped down, exposing the entire room to the cold air coming in from the porch. I have no idea how long it had been like that. I could have been heating the outdoors for weeks!!!

So… how strange is that, that I would be in the room, turning down the heat, just as the window rattled, drawing my attention to the open sash. I believe it was the spirit of my frugal mother letting me know the window was open. That’s what I think. She’s hovering around most of the time anyway, and this seems like something right up her alley. Thanks Mom.

Hopefully, if you live anywhere along the east coast, you are reading this post from the warmth and cozy innards of your happy home. There’s a storm brewing tonite and its about to hit Cape Cod in the morning. I’ve already pulled the cars into the driveway, checked the snowblower for gas and have my scotch in hand. I’m ready to parteeee. and blow snow.

Just thinking of all you chillins..  just chillin in the chill… and wanted to wish you well. More tomorrow as the snow flies. I’m off to my trundle bed in anticipation.

All the weather stations predicted 12+ inches for our neighborhood… and the storm central predictors were on TV all day spending time and effort pointing to maps and drawing diagrams. Perhaps inland there were piles of snow… but here on the coast it was mostly rain with some icy slush thrown in. This morning everything is covered with ice so I am waiting till the sun shines brighter on this old cape cod home and the temps reach the high 30′s before I venture out to shovel. No need for the blower… it would just be tossing chunks of ice around and probably break a window or two.

Not a disappointment really… when I read about Virginia and their 3+ feet of the white stuff, I am smugly pleased for the storm that was a bust.

It’s been a couple of weeks since last posting on chapmandeering.com – Some of my relatives might think I had met my maker, but no— I am still alive and kicking. Have been distracted by house guests, travel and taxes.

Went snowshoeing with friends to Mt. Sunapee last week…Had a great time in the woods, lots of sweat can be generated swooshing up those trails. We didn’t last long. My friend Kathy had the wrong boots on and it only took 20 minutes for her feet to ache… plus we got lost and had to backtrack. Snowshoe trails are not the best marked paths in the woods and we ended up at the bottom of a hill facing a reservoir. I was willing to trek across, but Kathy, noting the 40+ degree weather and the soft mushy snow, thought better of it, and we did not risk our lives.

So I am not dead. Aren’t you thrilled?

After months of grey, grim, gritty, grungey snow rain and mud, I am heading south for two weeks of sunshine. I know, everyone keeps reminding me that Florida is cold this year. In the 60′s! Horrors! Right now mid 60′s will feel like a steam bath to me.

I’m planning on working while I’m gone, much like my advencha of last year. I will have my computer with me and access to the internet and so will keep you up to date on my traveling. Today is packing day. I bought a new golf bag because I am hoping to get in a few rounds while I am down there. My traveling companions are not golfers, but that’s ok, even a day or two at the driving range will be good.

So ariverderchi…? I’m certain that is not the right spelling… so chow! babee. Till next time.

I know you must be wondering how I am doing in the warm wild south lands. It’s been an interesting mix of cold, rain, wind and losing my way. Fun, yes… and far better than sitting watching snowflakes fall…

Here’s a run-down:

Sunday was travel day — ALL day…. left home in order to catch the 8 am bus… met my friend in the airport .. coffee and a two hour wait till the plane departed…. flight was ok, tiny seats and NO leg room – AIR TRAN… don’t recommend it for seating… all that is to be expected I suppose, but Orlando is a very large airport and six AIR TRAN planes landed at the same time. It took over an hour to get our bags… then an hour in line for the rental car, then an hour trying to find our way out of the airport and down the road to the Sheraton Vistana Resort where we are staying.We went in to the registration center and just as they were to complete our registration all the computers went down. “Can you come back in a couple of hours?” AAAARRRGGGHHHHH!

We went shopping for overpriced food and ended up at some chop house for horrible BBQ ribs. I think it must have been 9pm when we finally got to our room and crashed.

Monday—the warmest day so far, we spent it walking around the grounds, exploring our options, sitting at the pool (lovely) and the hot tub (lovelier) and just hanging loose.

Tuesday—was the cold. raw, windy, rainy day, a “Pajama Day” as my friend called it and it was spent reading, watching TV, just hanging loose. We did take a walk so we did not go totally stir crazy.

Wednesday—This was the day I had arranged to travel to a local Golf Course to get a tour for my blog “golfgurls.com” Everything was set for 11:30 meeting. I got directions on Yahoo, but the manager of the golf course gave me new ones he said were much quicker. In any case, I got totally turned around, and spent an hour driving in circles. My friend Sue had all the maps and tried to help, but in the middle of my fourth U-turn she told me she had failed geography and had no notion where we were. At that point I was so frustrated I called the golf club to apologize and reschedule the meeting, and at Sue’s suggestion we headed to a store nearby and I bought a GPS unit for the car. I know, you think I’m a total whoosssse….

The Garmin is a lovely thing and now I can find myself out of a paper bag.

It’s Thursday and the advencha such as it is, awaits. More later.

Yesterday we gave in and entered the wonderful world of Disney… went to the Marketplace to browse, have lunch and see what there is to see. It’s only about 2 miles away, and with the new GPS in hand I was able to navigate without a hitch. Even got myself home again.

We wandered about … I was looking for two special Disney characters (two people I know are nuts about them) Jimminy Cricket and Merryweather, one of the three fairies from Sleeping Beauty… you know Flora, Fauna and Merriweather (the fairy in blue), but alas, neither character is at the height of the charts and there was nothing much to be found… the place was filled with The Princess and the Frog and Alice in Wonderland (the new film with Johnny Depp, which I think is weird…) so not much luck there.

By two o’clock we decided the movies was the best way to get out of the cold, and went to see Crazy Heart with Jeff Bridges. If you are into country music, it’s a worthy take.

Today, we play car shuffle… I have to pick up a car from my friends from Fort Myers. Their daughter drove up to Disneyworld and leaves on Sunday. I need to pick up the car from her today because I will be using it to travel to Fort Myers in a couple of days. The rental goes back to the airport this afternoon. So it’s car shuffle time. Hope the GPS takes me where I need to go. Will report back.

We just got in from the Olive Garden. Good meal, lots left over for two more meals… Sue leaves in the morning, I have another week or so. It’s been a grand time in spite of the weather. Lovely sun this afternoon and after 4pm special drinks at the cabana bana bar…. so I’m fine.

We are going to watch a movie. I’m trying to convince her to watch all five Harry Potter movies, one after the other till the early dawn, but she is discouraging me… can’t understand why…. more later.

I headed out this afternoon, GPS on the dashboard, heading for the local golf course… in Orlando there are so many that in any direction you are bound to find one. But I had carefully entered the address for the Nick Faldo Golf Course into my new handy dandy Garmin, and once I turned it on and charged it up, it led me easily and simply to the course I had selected.

My first time on the golf course since last November. A bit challenging getting into the swing of things, but all the kinks got worked out and I only lost 4 balls in the water over the course of nine holes. Not so bad. I played with a guy named Dave from D.C. He hadn’t played since October and could really hit the ball a far distance. He only lost three balls. It was a lot of fun.

In any case, I fired up the Garmin, now confident that I would be taken directly home. But it was not to be. My companion for the past week, Sue, who has one of these wizardry instruments had input the address for the place we are staying: Sheraton Vistana. The only problem was that there are four Sheraton Vistanas in Orlando, and needless to say she had input the wrong one. It took no time for me to get all turned around again until I found myself heading for the Magic Kingdom!!! At least I recognized I was off track, and as I had visited Disney on Wednesday I recognized a couple of landmarks… like the big mouse with big black ears on all the signs… anyway… I found my way, got home, and reprogrammed the $#%^@ thing. Tomorrow I head out to another golf course, this one 10 miles away—and I better be able to find my way home. Will keep you informed.

You know you’ve been suffering from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) when you arrive in sunny Florida and all you see are the hovering rain clouds. Yesterday was such a day… sun peaking through the overcast. But I got in a game of golf after all. A friend with whom I play regularly up north, is a  member of a nearby private club and she invited me to join her for a round of 18. What a hoot. We were joined by some unknown guy, turned out to be a 40+ bartender from a hearby resort — a good golfer, but someone who enjoyed his beer as he played. By the time we got to the 18th hole his putting was totally off. Still, lots of fun. I only lost 8 balls in the lake. I’m not exaggerating. 8 – count ‘em!!!

After I put one of my brand new Titlest balls in the pond, my friend gave me a bunch of old balls her husband had found. I played with those. Good thing. I’m going to write about this adventure on my other blog, golf gurls, so you can read every gory detail there. TTFN. The sun is finally out an I am heading for the pool.

It’s been a good week to simply relax. My host and hostess have been mahvelous giving me all the time and space I need to work on my blog, golfgurls.com as they prepare grand dinners in the evenings. They even provided me with Mr. Johnnie Walker, who I bring to the table each night. Such a good time.

The weather up until today has also cooperated. It’s not been a sit in the sun and bake kind of week, but sunshine and high 60′s has brightened my mood. This morning, however the rains are coming down like so many rats and frogs… (that’s Floridian for cats and dogs)… and I think it will be a stay in and read kind of day…. I brought all my Harry Potter movies… perhaps we shall have a film marathon? More later.

It’s raining in Boston, sunny still in Fort Myers… But I must head home. Two weeks away is the max I can allow myself… a stretch in my imagination anyway. Lots of fun, relaxation, not much sun or pool time, but good times none the less.

I am packing up my stuff, computer, golf bag, suitcase and leave early tomorrow. Promise to reconnect on the other side.

Chow people. Adios. Aloha. Peace and good tidings till we meet again. Happy Trails moochachas…

I’ve been back three days and am already exhausted… need a vacation! Re-entry into the work world is never easy, especially after two weeks… although it was a workin vacation… i did more nuthin’ than anything… and now, back at real work, it’s nose to the grind stone… except for yesterday, when I played golf all day, and today, when I’m leaving the office early to get my hair cut…

allright… I hear your snickers… and I don’t mean the candy bar kind… it’s true, I do know how to take care of myself… so now, after a full day – well, 5 hours of diligent work… I am off to get my beauty restored, and buy proper groceries… nothing in the house… i’ve been eating chinese food for three days.

More this weekend, when I really knuckle down.

I have a thing for stray crumbs— on the counter, on the tablecloth…. I don’t know why. I am compelled to wipe things clean and crumb free! I try to keep my compulsion under control and I succeed most of the time. But after I watch myself wipe the kitchen counter clean of crumbs for the third time in two minutes, I begin to wonder. Am I nuts?

Compulsions come in all shapes and sizes. We’ve all heard about the hand washers… people convinced they have germs on their hands to the point where they wash their hands hundreds of times a day. Or the people who have to keep checking that the doors are locked. I know a woman who is compulsed about stitches—you know, the ones in a sheet or quilt?—they have to be perfectly straight and even. She’s tempted to throw out perfectly good bedding if it does not meet her standards!

I have a good friend who has my crumb compulsion. But she admits to be being totally horrified when, at a recent dinner, the woman next to her at the table leaned over and started wiping the stray crumbs away that had landed at my friends place setting!

My mother had a compulsion for perfect plaids. They had to match across the seams. I recently bought a pair of plaid golf shorts and only examined the plaid when I got the clothes home. Horrors! The plaids did not match. My mother would never have tolerated such a thing. Poor workmanship. So back to the store they went! Saved me $39!

So what’s your compulsion? I know you must have one.

Got an email from a fellow traveler this morning and wanted to share it with you. It’s a great article  written by Maureen Dowd, opinon page… New York Times. Don’t frown. It’s worth the read, and will only take two minutes of your time. Puts a lot into perspective re: the church, the pope and all those poor kids.

Yeah to Maureen Dowd.

A Nope For Pope.

Yup, we need a Nope.
A nun who is pope.

The Catholic Church can never recover as long as its Holy Shepherd is seen as a black sheep in the ever-darkening sex abuse scandal.

Now we learn the sickening news that Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, nicknamed “God’s Rottweiler” when he was the church’s enforcer on matters of faith and sin, ignored repeated warnings and looked away in the case of the Rev. Lawrence C. Murphy, a Wisconsin priest who molested as many as 200 deaf boys.

Click here to read the rest of the article.

I used google’s translator to create that headline. I just broke my third french press! (As my french is not so good, it probably reads: I just squashed my french turtle….) but who cares.

Once again I have succeeded in cracking the glass in a french press. They are so delicate… and no matter how careful I am, i am never too careful. Sigh. It portends to be a difficult day, but hey, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, my car is still running (though it needs an oil change) and all is pretty much right in my world.

Et vous?

I am spending the weekend with my friends in Maine. We had hoped for a warm and sunny time at the shores of Ogunquit… but the weather promises to be cold, damp and raw! Ah well, we shall have to suffer quiety within the confines of their lovely cottage… saluting the sun behind the clouds with chardonnay and sauvignon blanc. We are all white whine drinkers! As this is Maine and fish country, white whine seems best don’t you agree?

I have a goal for this weekend. I must travel to each and every Dollar Tree store, looking for “quality” gifts for my golfing buddies. About 60 of us play golf each Thursday evening during the season, and this year I am in charge of buying the booby prizes for the losers… also good gifts for the winners of our weekly tournaments…  but those I will get online at a golf outlet. It’s the boobies that I find most interesting. So I shall report back when I have them in hand.

And that’s that. Life goes on smoothly… my own golf game is slowly improving. Work is busy… continuing to work on a variety of blogs, even clients are asking for my help with them… so my hobby is becoming my profession.

Enjoy the weekend. TTFN.

Sucha day! I woke early, to the sound of rain on the roof…. I stayed under the coverlet as long as I could… but the grey skies and the promise of coffee finally got to me and I headed down the spiral staircase to the lower level and my DD coffee.

I had a dream last night… an old victorian house fell over in a high wind and I rushed inside to rescue an old lady living on the third floor… there’s more to the dream but that’s enough information to get you “dream analyzers” going… I know… the house is me, and I am falling over!!!! That’s the way it feels today… misty day and all.

No great plans for the day… going to go shopping for a pair of sexy jeans! That’s the goal. That and the Dollar Tree Store for “quality” booby prizes for my golfing buddies…. more later…

It’s still raining here in southern Maine. I’m in the loft room looking out at the trees soaked and dripping, cascades of water running down the trunks and branches…no beach today though yesterday my hosts took me on a very quick turn around the beach parking lot so we could see the pounding waves. It’s vacation week for a lot of school kids and their families. It’s going to be a wet one.

We’ve done a lot of shopping. I bought my pair of sexy jeans… have to have them hemmed.. or I can roll up the legs and look like farmer Jane. That’s it. Farmer Jane in sexy jeans. Fabu Fabu.

I received many wishes of well from friends via phone messages, comments here and cosmic, psychic thoughts sent on the ether. Thanks to you all.

We had a lobsta fest last evening… with filet mignon – a surf and turf feast just for me. Fabu fabu. And I got some quality gifts including a golf board game and a bottle of the best 18 year old Scotch. Mr. Dewars step aside.

Today I am staying cozy in my bed till I hear movement down below. No need to rush. All I need is a shower and a little java to get my gears running smoothly.

I return to reality this evening… work and challenges await. TTFN.

My sister, the super gardener, delivered some compost for me yesterday. It’s free to get at our town dump and she is very meticulous in gathering what she can and bringing it back to her earthern lands. She carefully lines the back of her old van with tarps and black trash bags, then with shovel at the ready, she heads to the transfer station. They wave her through — she is so well known, and never has garbage to trash, just lovely recyclables and a yen for good compost.

This year she got to the compost pile a little early. It’s the first batch and must have come from the top of the pit…. It’s still got bits and pieces of real things in it… my sister found an old shoe. And we were both suspecting fingers and toes would be next. If I were to dump a body, the compost pit is a good place to start.

Anyway, my share of the dirt is sitting in my Dad’s old wheelbarrow out in the back yard. I must remember the tarp before I leave for work and the afternoon rains will soak it and make my gardening a bit more muddy than ususal.

Such excitement!

Well, I’ve gone and done it. Sold my car to my nephew who was riding around in a car duck taped together  and desperate for new wheels (it was more than time – the old Dodge Stratus was sputtering its last sput.) It wasn’t that I had to… but I decided to help him out. Which, of course meant I had to go and get new wheels myself. What to buy? Which options to get… My dream car is a Jaguar Convertible, 5 on the Floor, Dark Forest Green with a Black or Beige rag top – (can’t quite decide on the color of the rag) When GolfGurls.com makes me millions the Jaguar dealership will be my first stop after the bank! But right now, I trotted myself back to the Honda dealership and bought a sensible Civic — not too sensible… this one has heated seats to keep my buns happy in the winter, and a sun roof, to keep my spirits high in the summer when I can speed around town feeling super sunny!

Buying a car is always a bit of a hassle… there’s the pull and tug of the pricing negotiations, the time off of work to trot down to the showroom for the third time to sign all the paperwork… wondering if this is the year I should get a vanity plate… something slightly profane? perhaps, with a secret message only I will know? Which is kind of stupid, if I am the only one who knows it. At least it would be a plate number I would remember… something like: HOTSY  or  TOTSY  or UGOGRL …. Believe it or not HOTSY is actually available… but somehow a middle aged woman driving down the road in a sensible CIVIC with HOTSY on her tail does not jive too well in my mind…. Maybe something like:  LZYBUM would be bettah? That one too is available. And I am sorely tempted.

But having spent several thousand on the car I have suddenly become a very frugal person with heated seats and a sunroof. I’ve decided to forego the $125 vanity plate fee and the ongoing $75 a year fee to keep the LZYBUM on my back end. I’ve ended up with a plate that has some string of 6 letters and numbers that mean squat. There’s an “H” in there somewhere. Is that a sign I’m still a HOTSY?

Anyway, today is my second day with the car, too warm for heated seats and it’s going to rain so no sun roof. But I shall drive around anyway enjoying the smell of a clean car and some new tunes on the radio. TTFN – off to the races.

Ok — all you people who got up at 5 a.m. to shower, shave (face, leggs, whatevah) and get ready to hit the road on your daily commute to work — all you people may hate me!

But it’s a struggle to get motivated for work when you can sleep late and slog around in the early morning. I’m at my desk, I’ve checked my email, I have a client with a brochure that simply has to get to the printer today and there are still edits to be made! I was planning on going into the “real” office but – the bridge off the Cape is still under construction, and why should I waste the time and the gas — even with my new car? — so I am staying put and working from my home office.

The down side — and there is one — is that I must be self-disciplined…. I must stay at my task and not be tempted to go for a walk, drive to the store, slip out under the radar and head to the gym for another turn on the treadmill — Those of you who know me well, know, in fact that I need to be kicked off this computer and dragged into the street to get some fresh air. That’s the real problem. Once I sit my fat bum on this chair it’s a chore to get me up and moving.

I noticed when I was resting in my bed last night that “Lila” the food baby— that bulge in my middle that is nothing but fat— is growing by leaps and bounds. I am turning into “Lila” the food blob! I wonder if humiliation will make me change my tune?

Suppose you and I, dear reader, make a pact. I promise to exercise – some how, and will write about it. And you, keep me to my promise. Just by saying I will write each day about whatever exercise I manage to squeeze in, might be just the motivation I need.

You don’t have to do anything. You don’t even have to comment. You can even delete the email alert. All the focus is on my end to announce my intention and to do it. Yahoooeeee.

Well, now I’m exhausted. I think I’ll rest for a while. Where did I put that chocolate bar?

This you won’t believe.

I went to the dentist about a month ago. Had an appointment with my hygienist, Nancy. In between working on my plaque buildup and shining my pearly whites I told her about my latest venture, golfgurls.com  - my blog targeted at women golfers. She thought this was cool. And I thought she was cool for thinking I was cool, etc. etc.

Anyway, yesterday I get this article in the mail. It’s from Nancy, the hygienist. She had come across an article in the Hartford Courant Newspaper that reminded her of me. Those of you who know I was once ballyhoooed as the family’s “bathroom inspector” because I insisted on visiting every rest room on the turnpike when we traveled, will think that Nancy is psychic and knows the product mentioned in the article was designed just for me. I prefer to think that she found the product’s website address (go-girls.com) and golfgurls.com are similar in sound. That’s what I think and I’m sticking to it. I laughed for about three minutes.

In any case… I checked it all out and it’s worth posting a link to the website… who knows! The women among us might just find the item quite useful! Because life’s greatest adventure shouldn’t be finding a bathroom!

GoGirl.com – Don’t Take Life Sitting Down!

Oh such a ride I took this morning. I had to take a quick trip to the local post office to mail a check that is due today. I dragged my old bike out of the garage and pumped up the tires and headed out. Those of you who know my neighborhood know how difficult the ride to the post can be. Weaving in and out of running squirrels, avoiding the puddles and muddy road edges…

Oh! Such a travel this is. This trek is most dangerous as it involves my going out onto a real road. Oh Such travails as I traveled!!! I think my nephew was the last one on the bike sometime late last summer, and his long legs require a high seat. Mine do not and I found myself having to stop and adjust a few times. I finally just hopped off and pulled the seat down an inch or so, and now it is in better position to support my svelt body. The letter has been mailed, the bike is back in the yard (I sprayed the gears with WD40 as they were a bit squeaky.)

Actually, the short trip has inspired me to try it again… this time, to the loop!!! Will do that after I eat my very healthy salad for lunch.

I really don’t but I thought that headline might get your attention. I hate cigarette smoke. Especially on the golf course… and worst of all – those big ugly stinky stogie  ceeegars the arrogant men golfers puff and leave behind on the fairway. I’m sure they smoke on the golf course because their sweet wives can’t stand the stink in the house!

I heard an interesting tid-bit this morning on NPR as I was driving in to work. They have found a fabu use for recycled cigarette butts. Honest. It seems that if they soak the butts in water and extract the residual chemicals (including nicotine) they can use the resultant goo as a surface protector for metal. The gooey mess prevents corrosion!

Just imagine what that stuff is doing to your lungs! Here in Massachusetts the anti-smoking whoseewhatsitgroup is trying to get store owners to hang posters of rotten lungs and lip cancers within two feet of their cigarette shelves. The idea of course is to discourage people from buying the insidious smokes. Store owners are complaining. They don’t want to discourage sales. What planet are they on?

It’s so “mid afternoon” and I am so wanting a butt or two. Guess I’ll settle for gum and a tall cup of Java.

Last night I was out with a couple of good friends. Good food, good conversation (most of it about recent scandals! – most enlightening) good times. When we had finished our repast we weren’t quite ready to finish the night, so we drove down the street to an upscale hotel to sit in their lobby and have a night cap. A night cap for us meant two cups of tea and a coffee…. the coffee for me as I had to drive home (almost two hours away—and it was nasty weather—I had to stay awake.)

We were fortunate to find a quiet corner of the lobby and settled in for our ritual reading of tarot cards, and astro dice. I was just starting to shuffle the cards when our waitress appeared with our order. “Are those tarot cards?” she asked. I was impressed she recognized them. “If they’re tarot cards you’re fine. If they’re regular cards I have to ask you to put them away. The management considers any card playing gambling and it’s illegal here.” We explained that we were just doing general “hokus pokus” and not Texas Hold’em Poker. She was happy, we were happy. She even brought us three large chocolate chip cookies to enjoy. Great waitress.

Yumm. The cookies and coffee were just what I needed. And the first tarot reading went super well. NINE, count ‘em NINE major arcana cards showed up. Now, if you know anything at all about tarot cards you know that is nearly impossible to find in a ten card spread. This friend of mine was being carried by energy beyond control. Good energy I must say, with only happiness coming her way… in a while… not right away. The outcome card was, after all, the Hanged Man. (Don’t worry… just means a “pause” not a death.) The second reading I did for my second friend was not quite so earth shattering… but gave good indicators of the need to let go of anxiety and move forward.

That’s when my friend with the Astro Dice started shaking and rolling…the dice, I mean. I think the management might have had second thoughts about our quiet little gathering when I tossed the dice at the top of the glass coffee table… but no, by that time our waitress was off duty and everyone in the lounge was busy sipping cocktails. We were left alone to contemplate my cosmic future… which is bright, provided I work my tail to the bone…

And what about that question in the title of this post? It came up in conversation—isn’t it interesting how converstations have a tendency to travel in the strangest directions! Ours focused on the “how tos” of staying germ-free when traveling and “necessity” calls. Very enlightening information was exchanged — I won’t go into details for which I’m sure my friends are grateful. And the answer to the question? “Yes,” “Yes” and “You’ve got to be kidding.”

- All in all, a very pleasant night.

I have been working like a buzy bee on a bunch of important things and have been neglecting my chapmandeering postings… many apologies…

Does this ever happen to you? Busy about so many things, running back and fro, a little of this, a lot of that, maybe some of this thing or the other thrown in… so that you feel like you are going in circles, larger and larger, grabbing life and bizarre moments as they happen… and living in a bit of a whirlwind…! Well it happens to me a LOT.

That’s when I know it’s time to come in for a landing and just chill. I’ve got something planned every day next week and a crowd coming on the weekend, followed by family from CA arriving on the 15th for the summer. I’m supposed to be traveling north tomorrow morning to visit a friend, play some golf, go to a concert and then get back here on Sunday so I can cram in more stuff for my blog, golfgurls.com

Well… I just called in sick. It’s the smart move… I’m sorry I know my friend will be disappointed.. and the golf course may very well charge us the greens fees…I will pay them, gladly if they insist, but it’s supposed to rain anyway… so it may end up being a moot point.

A good friend of mine introduced me to the Buddhist concept of simply sitting still… “Do What You Are Doing” OooooohhhHHHHHHHHMMmmmmmmmmmmm….

Be in the moment. Do what you are doing… focus and concentrate… All will be well… it will all get done in its own time…

And so it is so.

OOOOOhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm. I’m chillin’ people. Chillin.

YIKES!!!!!

I just came up from down below (doing three loads of wash today) and there was a bird flying around the front room. How the heck did he get in? I’m sure it was a male bird… very colorful, very flappy, etc. etc.

We just had a major tropical storm move through and I could hear the rain pounding on the chimney cap high up on the roof… maybe the cap blew away and the bird just came zoooooming in! If that’s the case then more birds and —horrors!!! SQUIRRELS!— could come down the chimney asap. Gawd. I will have to wear a hat for fear animals will get caught in my hair! Or is that bats? – Anyway… its horrible….

FLAP FLAP…. SCURRY FLAP – SLAM! The bird just hit a window and went down behind the plants! I’ve managed to get the front door open and have braced it with my new summer sun chair complete with neck pillow and cup holder that I got for Christmas… I’ve been able to angle the chair just so, it is holding the door open…. then—bravely I am back into the front room and with arms wide, I flap and try to scare the creature out from behind the plants, up onto the windowsill and finally, with much ado and much squawking (my squwking – the bird is now silent with terror)… out the front door it flies and off into the wilderness.

Such a time! I’m going to have to sit down.

But now a thought occurs: if one bird could get down the chimney… then others will surely follow. I shall have to barricade myself in for protection. Maybe I can glue a shower curtain up against the mantle piece… perhaps something with a tropical forest design…?

Am I over-reacting? I’m still wearing the hat. Even to bed if I have to.

The sky’s are gray…My spirit’s blue..
No golf today...What can I do?

“Work!” you say,

“Do not delay!

Much to be done

No time for fun!”

How cruel of you! What work? I ask
My golf is work – That is my task!

I blog for golf- I live to swing
I putt for cash-That is my “thing”

So work I’ll do, and so I’ll be
To write, to blog – to then partee.

There’s money to be made in them thar links! Yeah golf!

No question, the 20 mile bike ride I made last Saturday was a lot of fun. But by the end of the ride, my “particulars” were not smiling.

Here’s the story: Two friends came down to visit me at my happy home on the Cape and they brought their bikes. Cape Cod Rail Trail just opened a new leg of the Falmouth to Woods Hole Ride and it now goes north towards the Cape Cod Canal ride and Bourne. The trail people  hope to complete it someday… but for now, we jumped in on the trail 10 miles north of Woodshole. An easy ride most of the way, it was a little crowded in spots and there were benches every few miles so you could get off and take a rest. Good thing, as my body needed the time to recover.

We brought our lunch and once in Woods Hole we settled on a park bench and chowed down. But the skies looked ominous and it didn’t take long before we were back in the saddle and heading back up the trail… 10 miles to the car. The wind, thankfully was at our backs and though the trail actually goes uphill in spots, it wasn’t a hard ride. The last three miles were tough, though. The heavens opened and the rains began to fall. That and the fact that my “particulars” were screaming at me at that point, made those last 3 miles seem like double the length…. !

Glad we did it. But before I try again, I need to get a new seat… one with an opening in front to manage my “particulars.” Any suggestions from my devoted fans???

My determined and very disciplined sister has decided to drag me to the gym! She tried her best last summer to get me off my mushy butt… I had every excuse not to move. Work, work and more work. This year her determination and my widening waistline have decided for me. For the last two days—count ‘em—TWO days I have gone to the local gym and sweated my brains out on bikes and treadmills while she dances and jives in the Zumba room or hits the deck in the Boot Camp Exercise class….she’s very good.

Yesterday was hot and the extra sweat on my brow from exercise did nothing to make me sweeter. Still when I got home there was an email message waiting for me — a client crisis! Rather than hit the shower right away, I sat down at my computer to try and solve the problem.

Needless to say, the day wore on, my solving the computer issue, still in my ugly gym clothes… through lunch and finally into the evening. I totally forgot to take a shower, my appearance must have been appalling! (I admit, I never bothered to look in the mirror!)

I grilled a fabu dinner and we ate outside under the trees, ending with wine at the fire pit. I never bothered to change or brush my hair! It never occurred to me. This is the beauty of true family! Never having to shower! And still they love me. Of course, it could be they are just being polite, but I prefer to think of it as LOVE. Wouldn’t you?

By the way, I’m off to hit the showers at last…. beauty is just a soap bar away.

I’m a dork. Full blown helmet head.

I went to the hair salon yesterday… an appointment for a trim. I made it clear to Robyn, my beautician for the last six years, that I wanted a trim, just some off the back and a little off the top to make it a bit more fluffy. With full confidence in her ability to understand English and my plee not to turn me into a little boy or dweeb, I closed my eyes and relaxed into the chair.

Twenty minutes later when I opened them there I was. Dork. Helmet head. Dweeb. Dinkola. AAAAWWWWRRRRRR!!!!! When the hair is gone what do you do? Hide. My shame is total. I will have to wear a hat to work. No words can explain…. all I want to do is scream.

My sister keeps telling me that beauty comes from within and that I should be happy it isn’t any worse. She’s trying to be kind.

And don’t wonder at my keeping my eyes closed during the event… I had to take my glasses off, and am blind without them, so resting my eyes was just a welcome option. But nevah… I mean NEVAH again will I let this woman cut again. Color yes. She’s good at color. But cut? She has long beautiful blonde tresses… maybe I should be the one carrying the shears next time.

I know hair is not the most important thing in the world when you think of starving people, crime in the streets and oil spreading all over pristine beaches along the Pensacola Florida coast… but it’s important to me. And I’m going to be having a bad hair day for the next three weeks. AAAAAWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHRRRRGGGGGG.

Save me.

I made a terrible mistake last night. Everyone was out for the evening and I couldn’t help myself…. I decided to indulge in a big bowl of ice cream. Unusual for me these days as I am trying to cut back. Unfortunately for me, the hour was late, the ice cream had huge chocolate chunks in it, and the caffeine laden chocolate kept me tossing and turning most of the night. That plus the fact that I listen to talk radio and easily get engaged in the conversations and political news, that I spent hours staring at the bedroom ceiling. Last night was tough. The humidity was still in the air, and though the fan was constantly blowing upon my prostrate form… relief in the way of sleep eluded me till nearly 4 am. I learned all about the election results in South Carolina, the spill in the gulf and the latest scandal from Hollywood.

I woke up at 8:15 this morning… late for me… I was exhausted.

As I write this missive, my sister is digging through the freezer and has just discovered my theft! She was planning on using the ice cream for my nephew’s birthday party later today. Oh dear.

What excuse can I give. I really didn’t think you know. When I started eating the splendid dessert I was out of control. It happens once in a while. I scooped just a little, and it seemed so small in my bowl, I scooped another, then another…. and before I knew it, I had scooped just about all of the ice cream out of the box… and there was so little left in the bottom of the carton —well, I didn’t want it to go to waste. Such a large carton, and so little ice cream sitting there in the bottom, alone and just waiting for someone. So I took that too. I even added some whipped cream.

I took the monstrous bowl into the TV room and began to eat. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I had “bitten off more than I could possibly chew.” When my nephew came home I asked him if he wanted to help me finish off the bowl, but he declined. He had just come home from a friend’s party and he was full of goodies without one spec of space to eat anything else. Very unusual for a fourteen year old!

I tried to finish the bowl myself, but by now, shame had replaced rapture. I had to stop eating. And as the remainder of the ice cream was now beyond anyone else’s enjoyment, I had no choice but to dispose of the glob… It had melted considerably.

Bottom line… by the time I hit the sack, I was most uncomfortable… fell right to sleep, then woke up an hour later with the caffeine chocolate jiggies… and those lasted until 4 am. Ugh.

Won’t do that again. Did you ever over indulge?

Oh, life is so exciting at our house… every time I turn around something else appears, be it a ramp for the front door to help my brother negotiate his way in and out, an outdoor fire to warm our hearts on a hazy humid evening with the mosquitoes buzzing, or my famous no finger chicken dinner which I prepared flawlessly last evening. A big success I might add.

In the meantime the family has gathered round to play UNO, BananaGrams, Dominoes… and start planning for July 4 holidays. Big Plans for a BBQ. Yummmmmmm.

More later.

First, apologies for my silence. Too many people, too many distractions, not enough time, etc. etc. etc. No excuse. I’ve become a lazy bum in this heat and have a hard enough time dragging my tail out of bed by 6:30 a.m., much less trying to be clever and creative with words, pictures and posts first thing in the morning.

So I’m a slug. No excuse. Just that. There it is. And proud of it too. It’s good to slug around once in a while. We who live in the guilt of the perpetual Puritan ethic of work work work and “time off is the devil’s workshop,” or however that saying goes, need to shift our gears and head for the hammock, which is where I am going right after posting this blog. I’m doing a wash right now and will hang it on the line so all the neighbors can see my linens and my frugality… but after the guilt has been assuaged, it will be a pleasure to swing slowly in the hot breeze under the shady beech tree in back, bottled water in hand, a good book and only the sound of pounding hammers from the guys next door putting on a new roof.

You think you’ve got issues with the heat? Imagine being on top of a house pounding nails into shingles… Maybe I’ll take the garden hose to them to help them out… but nah, those guys are probably used to it… of course, one did just fall off into the bushes and I heard another swear as he fell… so there must be some limit to how much heat a body can stand. (Only kidding… no heat stroke allowed amongst roofers from the Puritanical northeast. Hammer, hammer, hammer, sweat, sweat, sweat. Die. die. die! if you ask me.)

I for my part, spent the morning in Yarmouth, Cape Cod, taking a golf lesson. It’s true, I’m addicted to the sport. But it was too hot to be out there on the driving range. I tried to retain all that the instructors tried to tell me… but it’s all a blur right now. Perhaps after a little hammock time it will come back to me.

Stay cool, people. TTFN.

I’ve been on a diet for a couple of weeks. Lost a few pounds, but it hasn’t been easy. Mr. Dewars has had to stay far away for the duration… but come Sunday night, the fast is over, my liver has rebounded and is ready for another taste of the brew. I have learned I don’t need sugar – too much, and I can get away without all those extra taco chips… provided i don’t start at all. They said I would lose my craving for such things. Alas… I only crave more, and cannot wait for the salty taste of a good chip with a little dip… it’s those little things that bring such fine satisfaction and pounds of course….

I shall try to exercise beginning next week… always tomorrow… I threw my back out playing golf on Tuesday, had to stop right in the middle of the round… will try a little swinging over the weekend, and perhaps I will be ready for next week’s tournament… anyway… just ate a veggie burger for lunch. My friend from Vermont left them behind. Grilling them till crispy on the back Weber, worked and they were tolerable. Don’t know if I would seek them out in the marketplace, but as they were the only choice in the fridge for lunch… they worked just fine.

Have you ever tried veggie burgers for food? Nothing substitutes for a big juicy burger though these weren’t bad.

TTFN.

Back to work. Blogging my way to stardom with golfgurls.

I have no idea what was going on last night. I swear I’m being haunted by ghosts or strangers in the dark… the most extraordinary things started happening. And this is the absolute truth. Honest. No kidding.

I listen to the radio at night. Usually using my iPhone… I have an app built in that lets me listen to  NPR all night long, from anywhere in the country… easy peasy… been using it all summer long. Last night I set it up as always… and each time I selected a station I was able to listen for about two minutes and then the station would fade out. Gone. Silent. The phone was fully charged, but still I could not hold a station for more than two minutes. Then the screen wouldn’t shut off. If you have an iPhone you know that screen is really bright, especially at night… could not get it to dim.

Then… the creepiest thing happened. It was two in the morning and the coffee maker in the kitchen began grinding as if there were beans in the pot. I could hear it whirrring around down there . Out of nowhere, the sound of grinding! You should know that all summer long we didn’t even use the grinding element of the coffee maker. Never turned it on. Yet, here, in the middle of the night, the machine started grinding invisible beans. Not once, not twice, but constantly for at least an hour, on and off, grind and stop, grind and stop. My imagination was going wild and I finally concluded that someone had snuck in the house, was downstairs in the kitchen, trying to lure me into his clutches by setting off the coffee maker to grinding, trying to get me to go downstairs and investigate.

I determined to stay absolutely up stairs. No coffee grinding maniac was going to get me. I was staying upstairs, my silent iPhone clutched in my frozen fist.

It was not a dream. Something was setting off the grinder, something was silencing my phone! I finally turned off my phone and let it reset itself, which worked.

As for the grinder? I pulled the plug on that baby this morning. It’s going to the dump!

I don’t know if you have a green thumb or not, but my sister has a green thumb that extends up and over her elbow. No matter what she sticks in the ground… ! amazing things happen.

This afternoon I stopped by to see what was blooming. Such a fertile crescent here on Cape Cod!!! She has squash and pumpkins growing by leaps and bounds… not to mention the holly in the corner of the lot.

And it’s all about sex!!!

The squash and pumpkins are pretty much in the same family… fabulous orange blossoms open early in the morning… fully flowered, waiting for just the right visitation from the right bee that has all that stamen type pollen on it’s wings or legs… I’m no scientist so I don’t know the specifics… let it be said.. the bee is the “matchmaker”… taking some of this and mixing it with that… and voila!!! the bud is budddeeeeeng… and the bee has done its job. A baby squash is on it’s way.

Sadly…. Those virgin blossoms that never got the sting fade away over night and will wilt and fall to the ground tomorrow. It’s a sad state of affairs.

In the meantime… deep in the back vestiges… the feminine holly bushes (there are such distinctions) have been well fertilized by the presence of the lone male holly bush… call him the holly boy! One bush among many female-now berry laden bushes….  Fabu! such fertilizations abound in my sister’s yard. You must come to visit!!!

Last week, on my way to work, I had to stop at the local supermarket to pick up a quick salad for my lunch. I was in a rush, late again… even though I am my own boss, it was already closing in on 10 am and I had a client meeting to get to and a ton of work on my desktop that had to be done by the end of the day.

Anyway.. just as I approached the market door, a little old lady pushing a cart was just entering. She was walking as slowly as cold molasses running down an ice flow… one of her feet had only a sock on it and looked a little distorted and she walked on it at an angle. There was just a moment when I could have dashed by her, but I was afraid she might be frightened thinking she was being attacked or something… so instead, I slowly and patiently waited the two minutes it took her to push her cart through the doors and into the market. Once there was clearance around her, I dashed by, rushed to the salad bar and loaded up an aluminum bowl, grabbed an apple and headed for the self-scanner aisle. I needed to get to the office.

But there she was again. In the three minutes it took me to walk to the salad bar, pick out my veggies and head back to the entrance, the old lady had managed to walk about thirty steps. Her cart was still empty and she was looking a little lost. She saw me coming. “Look at you,” she had a bit of a puzzled smile, “you’re all done and I haven’t even gotten started.” I smiled and mumbled something about “Oh, I just needed this one thing. Have a good day.” and I headed onward.

I paid for my stuff and left the store, got in my car and drove to the office. The whole time though I was thinking, “maybe I should have helped the lady with her shopping… then again, maybe this was her one big excursion of the day, and she wanted to do it herself, then again… if I did offer to help, how long would it take? does she have a special diet? Maybe I’d buy her something that disagreed with her… and she would get sick… then again, maybe she is a fabulously wealthy eccentric without any relatives, and she is just waiting for one kind person to help her out and she will reward them with all her money when she dies… then again… ” You get the picture… my mind was going in circles….

What should I have done? What would you have done?

‘Tis a grand thing. Top ‘o the morning, Erin go bragh! La brea ata ann! (That means it’s a lovely day in gaelic!)

I am celebrating with Mr. Dewars, though Mr. Guinness would be a better companion perhaps. The fed-x man just delivered the news. I am now an Irish citizen!!!!

It took over a year and a half of digging through the archives, trips to the Massachusetts Geneological Center, and a trip to the old sod with my sweet cousin Kathy – but the deed is done. I now have my my citizen certificate and I am now a citizen of Ireland through foreign birth, a daughter of the gaelic isle. Tra la and Tipperary!!!

I tip a sip to my parents, Vivian and Michael and to my grandparents on my Dad’s side – John T. and the infamous Mary Kate Archer of Jenkinstown, Kilkenny, Ireland who was the one of them all who counted the most. My generation can still apply for citizenship through a grandparent and for me it was Mary Kate.

Let me tell you a bit about this remarkable woman. She lived a simple life, arriving in this country at the age of 17—an entrepreneur, selling beauty products and looking for new opportunities. But the streets were not paved with gold as she had been led to belive and she became a housekeeper for the wealthy of New York City. She traveled to Harwichport on Cape Cod as maid to a wealthy family who were vacationing at the elegant Belmont Hotel. It was there that she met her future husband, John T., a handyman and sometime driver of hansom cabs. They fell in love, went back to Brooklyn and married. The very next day they moved to the Boston area where John T. had a permanent job as an iron worker. (He was one of the men who created the great iron clock on the Custom’s House Tower, downtown Boston.) Within a year their first child was born and by 1916 there were four children. It was not an easy life for Kate. They were never rich and she was not always healthy. But her strong Irish backbone and her Catholic upbringing gave her a way to see things through. In the winter of 1927, she collapsed on her way home from church. It was snowing and there were few people on the streets. When she didn’t return home, one of her sons finally went looking for her and found her lying on the sidewalk, covered in snow. She never fully recovered, dying that summer.

I never knew her and we only have a couple of pictures, but I think I would have liked her, and she certainly would have liked me! I’m sure of it.

Anyway, here’s to the Erin in my go bra! And three cheers to the ancestors who made it all possible. Yahoooooeeee!

Ok…. don’t laugh. I just came across a video contest sponsored by golfer, Annika Sorenstam and I’ve decided I should enter. The winner gets to fly to Florida and play a round of golf with her and gets all these extra prizes, etc.

And why shouldn’t I win? I’m clever and creative and totally passionate about golf… even though I am lousy at it… but always hoping the next shot will be a better one. They want a video that shows passion for the game… so I’m thinking I can show frustration which is close to passion don’t you think?

I’ve got some story board ideas in my head… need to get them down on paper… working on it this weekend and will share more later…. but if you come up with a great idea, pass it on.

I slept really well last night. The air temp dropped to the mid-50s… great for sleeping. A lot better than the mid-80 heat we had here in the summer… almost time to take the air conditioner out of the window… of course we know as soon as I do that we’ll get a blast of tropical heat and I’ll regret the move…

But today, I need a sweatshirt… and the air is a little crisper… the light, a little more stark with contrast and without the soft edges of a hazy summer morning… feel likes a good day to take some late summer pictures… perhaps capture those first leaves that change color…

My garden is a mess… the morning glories are finally growing… the badger that lives in the abandoned house next door kept eating all the young shoots so it’s taken most of the summer for the plant to get going… and now it’s almost time for the first frost to kill it…

Saddest of all, the Tee Club, my thursday afternoon golf group held its final dinner last night. Good times, good season…but time to find other venues to play and practice.

I always find fall a bit sad and sentimental. I’m a spring person, … what do you think?

It took most of the summer to grow, and today the morning glories will be no more. At this very moment a very large back hoe is being moved down the driveway, under the trees and into the backyard… they are digging for old septic systems, ripping through old pipes and laying down a brand new system of tubes and holes and who knows what. I am heading out soon so the water shut off will not be a problem. I will be flushing at a remote location today!

Still and all it’s quite something to see this humungus equipment with its giant claws tearing up the earth…. my car is out at the end of the driveway… I offered to move it… the driver said, not a problem… and so it was… no troubles…. here is a pic of the monster  as it enters. Impressive. And of poor froggie wondering what is going to happen to his backyard!!!

Updates to come!!!

…we are going to love eating bananas! or something or other will become our compulsion!

A friend was visiting this past weekend and knowing I am always struggling with my weight, she brought me a CD… Subliminal Weight Loss Music! It’s one of those strange and magical mystery CDs that you are supposed to listen to as background music, but hidden among the notes is a voice that only your inner subconscious can hear… telling you all kinds of deep affirmations about losing weight, eating the right foods, cutting back on salt, drinking more water, stop drinking all that wine… you know the drill.

It could also be telling you to eat every banana in sight! But I wanted to share the joy! Here is one of the tracks for you to listen to and enjoy as you become very very skinny… or, alternatively become addicted to mangoes! Who knows – it just might work. Click on the ear icon to listen.

I’ve been listening for a day and suddenly have this strange craving for prune juice. Yummmmm!

Let me know if you hear the underlying message in the music…. what is the voice saying?

I went to the market and bought fifty pounds of bananas to satisfy the voice on those subliminal tapes and help me lose weight.

Only problem… I threw my back out in the process and am now typing this post sitting with my back set up against a large bag of frozen peas wrapped in a hand towel. I am a cripple and can only just barely reach the chocolate on the desk.

Help!!! The subliminal tape is running…. if I can’t reach to turn it off, do you think I’ll melt away right here, just like the frozen peas…. ?

I think I’ll take some drugs. Better than peas to calm the spastic muscles… and I was going to go exercise at the gym today too. Darn!

…and in celebration of my newly acquired Irish citizenship, my friend gave me a fabu little bear that sings an irish tune…. I thought I’d share it with you here…. enjoy.

My friend came to visit this weekend and I suggested we try a little kayaking. It might be the last good weekend… the temps have been in the 80s… and she was eager.

We took a walk to the beach to check out the possibilities and although there was a bit of a wind, we thought it would be ok. So back to the house we trekked, got out all the kayak stuff: paddles, life jackets, etc. etc. tossed the boats on the top of the rack and headed out. All was fine. Grand sunshine, light breeze along the shore and the plan to paddle to the point and head down the little river — my sister’s favorite haunt—in search of the grand blue heron on an osprey or two.

Well now, how can I explain… we paddled easily enough to the point…. the wind at our backs and the tide just going out… it was easy peasy! And going down the little river was most pleasant as well… no osprey or herons but the quiet and serenity of the tall grasses and the quiet stream were soothing to our spirits. And so we putz about for  abit…. finally deciding as the hour was getting late to paddle back up the stream and head back home. That’s when all hell broke loose.

As we neared the final turn, the stream began to churn and the white caps on the bay water just ahead looked ominous. It was as we made that final sand bar that the wind hit us square in the face. The waves had been building all the while we were paddling down the stream. It took all my strength to keep paddling to make any headway at all. Paddle foward 2, waves push back 1. I knew I would never make it to the beach which was nearly a half mile away… so I quickly headed for the shoreline… my kayak was already getting pushed sideways in that direction by the wind. It’s not easy for me to get out of a kayak — no upper body strength, you see—but I managed to fall myself out of it. Then turned and saw that my friend who had started out right behind me, was still at the far point, actually going backwards no matter how her paddles flailed at the sea.

I had no choice, I plunged back into the shallows and waded the hundred yards back to get her, grabbed the bow handle of her boat and began to walk back, pulling her along. It was all very dramatic of course. I felt like Xena, Warrior Princess fighting the elements. (That is an exaggeration — after all the wind was only blowing 20 and the water had to be a warm 75 degrees.) Anyway… my friend got out, we dragged both kayaks along for a while and when we finally got into the quieter part of the cove, we each got in and began to paddle back to the far shore.

No humiliation in dragging the foolish boats all the way. I’ve done it before when I couldn’t fight the wind. But best to look like we knew what we were doing. There were, after all, tourists on the beach.

FABU, fabu!

I was at the Holly Ridge Golf Course the other day, hitting some balls and praticing my quality of golf when I happened upon this fabu car in the lot. Just my perfect dream. My friend agreed to take a photo of me standing with “my car” energy surrounding me. Well, why not? It’s a fabu car and I think I deserve it… at least in my dreams.

Don’t you agree? Wouldn’t I look just splendid zipping down the road in my hot red Corvette? Of course, as I know hot red cars are always bait for the bears in the woods, (that means PO-LICE dahlings) I would keep my speed under the limits, at least on those well patrolled roads. I think I’d have to move to Montana to get up some real speed. Or maybe New Mexico? or Utah?

Wide open spaces hear I come!

It’s only 6:45pm and it feels like 10 pm.

Had a great day today. Got up a bit late for me, did a few quick errands and then hit the golf course to play a full round with a friend. Did ok. Not great… I struggle with my short game. But got off a few really good drives and only lost 2 balls… one in the water and one in the woods – which I know is just sitting there waiting to be found. Oh well…. when my golf partner and I figured our scores at the end of the round, it turns out I won! Thank goodness for my high handicap.

Then home to dinner at my sister’s – pasta and carrot cake for desert. Simple simple. But now it’s closing in on 7 pm and the fall nights fall very early. It’s already dark out and I feel like I could just crawl under the covers and go to sleep. Doesn’t help that I am fighting a cold. Bought all the requisite drugs… and will pop a couple soon. Got tablets rather than the liquid type as I have to travel this week and the airlines don’t cotton to tall jugs of cough medicine stuffed into your carry on.

So there ya go. I’m turning into a blue hair. Dinner at 5 pm and bed by 7:30. Gawd… what will happen next!!!! I’m going to blame it all on the cold. Achooooooo.

Who would believe that having a high handicap in golf would give me the confidence boost I experience every time I play a really bad round?

Here’s what I mean. I’ve been playing golf for about 8 years… and in the last four or five I’ve really tried to improve. I practice, practice, practice. But improvement? No matter the number of lessons I take I am always scoring double and triple bogeys… if you don’t know what that means, trust me. It means I’m a lousy golfer. But what it also means is that when I play in a tournament as I did this morning, I get all these extra strokes. In order to “level the playing field” between golfers, I get to take strokes off my final score. I know, it doesn’t sound fair, but the bottom line is that when I play against a really good golfer and I play well, she has to play super well to beat me. It’s the nature of the game.

Anyway, this morning in the wind and rain that soaked the Hyannis Golf Club, I struggled to play the best I could. I can finally drive the ball a really good distance, and most of the time it is going straight down the fairway. (A small miracle.) But my short game—anything within 80 yards of the green is sheeetola… I can’t chip, I can’t putt to save my life… and I end up with high scores. Today was no different.

BUT!!! As I was the least skilled person on my team I got all kinds of strokes! And we ended up coming in second of all the teams that played. I won $13!!! for my efforts.

Oh the joys of golf. Who would believe it is so good to be so bad.

In Florida playing golf with the Tee Club. Having a grand time. Played Hammock Bay yesterday and Tiburon today. Great weather, great courses, great people.

And a special event… my dear friends from Fort Myers met me last evening and we dined on Fifth Avenue, Naples… raising a glass of single malt in honor of my recent Irish citizenship. Ate outside under the stars with soft warm breezes and mahvelous atmosphere. ‘Tis grand to know such good people. I am a very lucky person.

Today I have high hopes for my golf game to improve. One can always have hope.

I play golf with the women’s league at my local golf course once a week, and in the last three years I’ve been playing I’ve been on a second or third place team once in a long while. But I’ve never won top dog until now!!!

Played pretty well yesterday morning, and as we were playing a game called Individual Quota my good play landed me at the top of the list. At last!!!! This game format favors those with high handicaps and that’s me!

The $$$’s not much, – but worth a dinner out, or a good book at amazon.com… but I am very proud!!!

Not to mention the fact that i totally tumbled into a sand bunker on the 17th. I mean, totally. I had hit the golf ball into the trap and it was hanging on by a dirty thread on the edge of the bunker. The only way to play the ball was to stand on the top edge of the bunker and reach out with my club to try and whack the ball… that’s where I was when the ground under me gave way, dumping me club and all upside down into the pit below. No harm, no foul. I was out of the hole with just a little humiliation. But imagine how well I would have done if I had only just hit the $#@%! thing.

Now I know that those of you plugging away in a classroom, or in an office will give me grief for the time I spend on the golf course… but it’s part of my work… for golfgurls.com the website I’ve created for women golfers. So I too am working hard as I stroll down the fairways and putt along those lovely greens. I know—you secretly hate me. Right?

Just a quick update… my aching back is getting better, but there was a moment or two there on Sunday when I thought #$%@! I’ve done it again.

What is it about our aging bodies that creaks and grinds when we bend over from the waist to trim a bit of flox? Or empty the flower pots and dump the dirt into the garden in anticiapation of next year’s abundance? We had a killer frost last night and all the plants are finally turning to dust and returning to whence they came… dirt and more dirt. Seeds into ground, waiting for warm spring mornings.

You can tell, it’s that time of year when I begin to ponder mortality and think long deep thoughts about life and in particular my eventual demise. My creaking back is a good reminder that my body is not invincible though I treat it as if it were.

The other day I was having lunch with a business colleague. She’s about my age. I was delivering to here a sample pair of golf gloves—sent to me by a manufacturer who wants me to post a product review on my golfgurls.com website. The gloves are special. They are for women golfers who have arthritis— specially designed to help with the aches and pains.

Naturally our conversation turned to her ailments, my ailments, the latest headache or joint ache that just won’t go away. “What’s with us?” I finally declared. “We are turning into moaning old farts!”

We both laughed and quickly changed the subject. But my back still aches. And it shouldn’t. I’ve been very careful with bending and twisting and I am loading up on good drugs to make me smile.

Maybe it’s time for a new mattress.? My body needs a break!

Do you have any moans and groans, creaks and squeaks? What’s your remedy?

It’s another dreary day here on Cape Cod. Yesterday I woke to a coating of snow on the ground. Shocking!!! It was actually snow mixed with ice to create a very slick coating on everything. I waited till the afternoon to go to the bank. This morning, no snow but the rain and wind are ripping leaves from all the trees and the front lawn, I so carefully raked last weekend, is covered with two or three layers of old oak and maple leaves. Time to get the mulcher out on Saturday.

So how is one to cheer one’s soul on such a day? Happily, I just bought some new socks from my favorite store, Job Lot – where good things fall off trucks and the shopper gets the deal! -)

I love these new socks. Warm and cozy and colorful too! I got them in green and red and purple and blue. I’m set for the cold winds of winter. Don’t you think they’re stylish? They go with absolutely everything in my wardrobe.

The other plus to a cold dreary day is a bowl of soup. I was lucky to snag a few cans at a severe discount and stocked up so I have a choice when it comes to lunchtime. Yummmmmm.

Stay warm people. Brother winter is just around the corner. (Of course, you lucky people who live in Florida don’t have to wear socks at all!!! I’m traveling there sometime soon and will trade my socks for sandals! Yahooooeeee. Something to look forward to on such a cold and dreary day.)

It’s not what you think. The house has a mouse.

I’m fighting mice in the cellar with a technique I read about in the newspaper. At first I thought the idea was bogus but it was confirmed by my friends in Maine who have been enduring invasions of mice since they winterized their vacation home in the woods.

Cotton Balls with drops of either Castor Oil or Peppermint Oil will keep mice away. Apparently the rodents don’t like the smell of either. I hate the little critters no matter where they are. I am on a campaign to get them out of the house. So last weekend I bought a bag of jumbo cotton balls. Finding peppermint oil at CVS was next to impossible so i settled for Castor Oil – which was hard enough to find. If you were looking for Castor Oil in a drug store where would you look? (They keep it next to the laxatives! Interesting.)

Anyway, the cellar is now filled with creepy looking cotton balls covered with dobs of oil lubricant. I put one ball next to each of the regular mouse traps that are armed with cheese squares and then more balls along the outer perimeter of the foundation. There is no way to actually check to see if this is really working… in fact one of the traps is missing its cheese this morning… which makes me think the mouse in the house is very much alive and well.

But I will not be deterred. Time to add more balls and oil.

Have you ever had a mouse in your house? What did you do to get rid of the creature?

Some days are real bummers. You know the kind, when nothing goes quite right… and no matter how well you hit the ball, you end up in the sand trap. (A golf metaphor—my apologies to you non-golfers.) That was my experience yesterday… everything was going well, I got a bunch of pars on the front nine, and then, sigh, my usual bizarre game kicked in. Hey, I can’t complain. I was outside playing golf! – Part of my “research work” for my blog, golfgurls.com

But to be honest, most days are just swell. Now that’s a word from the past. “Swell.” Haven’t heard that in years. Most days the sun is shining, the air is clear, the world may be spinning out of control somewhere on the planet, but in my little world, things are a-ok. There are people out there who care and who love me.

And that’s what I want to focus on today, the day before Thanksgiving…. a thank you to you for continuing to take the time to read this silly blog, to occasionally comment and make me smile. After all, that’s what life is all about. Taking time to appreciate what I’ve got—what you’ve got and focus on the positives.

Wishing each of you a fabu feast! As for me, I’m heading out to Florida shortly, and will be reporting on all things bright and beautiful — and warm!!! from there. TTFN.

By the way, the photo at the top of this page is one I took on Monday. I was in search of the full moon which refused to show itself from behind the low clouds, but the sun was setting in the west and as I drove along one of the back roads I came upon this great shot. I shall put it in my album.

Sitting on the dock of the bay, waiting for time to pass before the airboat leaves for Florida…. security is tight and demanding… but not difficult after all…. my friend decided to choose the patdown rather than the scanning device…. “Dr. Oz says the all body radiation is not good for you. So I’m going to go for the patdown.” Not for me… no hands touching my private parts, thankyou very much….

As it turned out, the scanman machine is no hassle…. just as long as you don’t touch the sides… if you do, the alarms go off and buzz, buzz, buzz…. and the radiation? Well, with all the dental xrays I’ve gotten over the years, I figure I am already glowing a slight green… so I don’t really care. As for my friend… she told them she wanted the patdown… said “Dr. Oz told me not to do this radiation thing.” The guy just laughed and let her go through. Honest… no patdown at all. So what do you think of that! Now, I know my friend is not a danger to anyone but herself… but that was an interesting development. I feel so much more secure knowing that patdowns are so arbitrary!!!

I love living in paradise, if only for a week at a time.

Just talked with a client in Boston…. he spent the last hour scraping his car windshield before heading out to work. I sent him my sympathies. If you, dear reader, are in a likewise position, you get my sympathies too. Just for this week I am lucky enough to be sitting poolside, sipping G & Ts, eating fabu food and doing nuthin’ much except keeping up my blogs.

Don’t be jealous, though. It’s only for the week. By Sunday I will be back staring out the front door at the frozen bushes in the front yard and watching the frosty snowflakes fall. I’ll be thinking back on these warm days with longing. Life moves on. It’s important to live in the moment. Stay awake and pay attention to what you have in front of you. It’s going to change—in fact, it just did change. Zap! Changed again! Oh isn’t life exciting!!!!

What are you doing to keep up with time?

If there is one thing I always find a little difficult in living in paradise… it is slowing down… The pace of life here is much different from that back home, where the cold winds blow and everyone scurries around seeking warmth. New England lives on a tight goal oriented schedule. Everyday has tasks to be accomplished and that puritanical workaholic attitude is pervasive. So moving south even for a short week is a real transition for me. Learning to live slowly is a challenge.

Today, for example, I am sitting at my computer, writing a new post, already dressed for the pool where I shall force myself to lounge in the sun. I’m nibbling on fresh bread toast with a little butter and drinking a cup of gourmet coffee as I gaze out the full length sliders at the fountain sparkling in the pond just beyond the backyard. In a little while my friends will be up and we shall go to the pool… then back to the condo for a simple lunch break, then back to the pool to sit and read, then back to the condo to get ready for dinner. It’s a challenge, this back and forth doing nothing but lounging and eating. And tonight we are going out to an Irish Pub to celebrate my new heritage.

It’s very difficult to live so slowly. We should all live like this. Don’t you agree?

This you won’t believe. Then again, maybe you will… technology and scam artists being what they are. I just discovered a secret plot to add $$$$ charges to my cell phone bill. This can happen to you and you won’t even know it’s happening until it’s too late.

Here’s the story.

I got an email from AT&T this morning. My monthly bill was ready to be viewed. Although I often don’t look at my bill online and wait instead for the paper version to arrive, I decided to check it out. Good thing I did. My total due for the month was $23.00 more than last month. Curious. I didn’t remember doing anything differently. I checked the details and I had not gone over my minutes or data transfer limits… I couldn’t see any reason for the extra charges. So I called AT&T.

It seems that at some point in the last month I received a text message from some vendor who sold hints and solutions to online games. I don’t know about you but when I get a text message that looks like an ad and I don’t recognize the name, I delete it immediately. I don’t read it, I just delete it. Well, it seems that this game vendor was selling me some $19.95 product and if I didn’t opt out of the deal I was going to be charged, not only $19.95 but that same amount every month going forward. And because I did not respond but just deleted the message, the vendor charged me the $19.95. What with taxes and fees, my bill was increased the $23.00!!!

Wowsa!!! Thankfully the AT&T rep was able to get the charge cancelled and credited back to my account. What could I have done to prevent this?

The rep told me to never delete a text message without reading it. These vendors are out there in force, sending scams to all the world. And to prevent this from happening again I had to order a special service to block all vendors!!! Which means I cannot buy anything on my phone. No ringtones, no games, no whatsitanywhooo stuff. I don’t care!!! And if I do get a text message with an offer they tell me to do the following:  read it and reply with the word “STOP” which is supposed to get them to stop sending text messages to me.

This is all a big pain in the #$@! And all because I said yes to relatives and friends that I would add text messaging to my phone. Hmph! I’ve only received two text messages this month… but a lot of grief as well. I’m thinking of canceling the text service all together.

Let this be a warning to you all. Nasty things are happening. Check your bill for strange charges and call.

We just got hit with a bit of a surprise snowfall… about 8 inches here on the Cape. Towns just 15 miles north got a dusting but we were out with shovels and snowblower… happily my brother in law and nephew did most of the digging. Nice to have men about the house!

The tree is trimmed, presents are beginning to show up under the tree and the stockings are hung at the chimney, waiting for small gifts to be loaded into the toes. The turkey is thawing in the refrigerator… it’s a big one and takes a few days to lose its frozen facade before we roast and toast on Saturday. Got a crowd coming, which will be fun. And quality gifts to give away in a Yankee Swap – always a good time to laugh.

So here is my Christmas blog and wish for you. May your days be merry, your eyes bright, your wishes come true and your nose not blue. Stay warm and cozy this Christmas!

Just happened to be visiting Idaho last week and stopped by a convenience store for a quart of milk. Heard about the big lottery and bought a ticket.

Woke up this morning to discover that one of the tickets was bought in Washington State and the second was purchased at a convenience store in — are you ready for this?— it was bought in Idaho!!!!

I’ve just spent the last two hours digging through my trash! (I always empty my pockets and toss my travel tickets and bits and pieces when I get home after a trip.) I’m sure if I look hard enough I’ll find it. I just have a feeling… I know this is it…. what with Uranus and Jupiter converging in the skies overhead and in my progressed astrological chart… why, it’s a foregone conclusion!!!

Stay with me on this! It’s a happening! —

Either that or it’s fuzzy thinking… I did just wake up. Do you think it’s my alter ego, LaLa dreaming? Sigh.

It’s been a wild couple of weeks since last I posted… here’s what’s happening.

After a lot of thought and deep contemplation of my naval, and my finances… I’ve finally given into reality and decided to move my professional office from a location an hour’s commute away, to one that is only 10 minutes from my front door. Not only does this reduce my daily commute considerably (two hours of driving, plus 100 miles, plus traffic, plus wear and tear on the car)… but in order to get to my new office, I have to drive right by my gym (the doors of which I have not darkened in months!) so I shall soon be svelt and beautiful, as well as $300/ a month richer.

Why didn’t I think of this sooner? Duh? Sometimes the most obvious choices are the ones we (I!) avoid. Who knows why. Some deep seated fear of the unknown? Inability to move off the dime? Just plain lazy? Who knows. In any event…. I am moving. That’s the first point.

It’s freezing cold here in the northeast, people. and I am shaking. Just got my oil bill!!!!! I have decided I can tolerate the temp dropping another six degrees in the house during the day. That puts it just about frigid. But I am safe and warm in spite of the degrees on the thermostat. I went to my very favorite store – Job Lot!!! and bought some cheapo thermal curtains,  a couple of spring rods and hung them in the doorways from the office into the rest of the house. I turned on the portable heater (a gift from a very wise friend) and ta dah!!! Instant salon! I am able to keep toasty and warm while I work. Of course if I want to get any lunch or visit the loo I have to go out to the frigidity…. and crack the ice that forms in the sink so I can get water for my tea!!! OOOOhhhh. What a cold world! So that’s the second point. I’m Shakin’!

And finally, I’m travelin’. And this, luckily to a very warm clime. Heading for a trade show in Orlando Florida for three days of golf paradise. I got a media pass (I’m a pro blogger now on GolfGurls.com) and am heading south for just three days in the warm sunshine. In preparation I am considering a quick visit to the local tanning booth shop to get a medium spray, just a light coating so I don’t look totally gray!!!

So that’s the scoop from the wilds of the north. Tell me, what are you up to wherever you are?

I set my alarm for 6am… it rang… I snoozed… it rang again… no worries… plenty of time… breakfast, shower, dress, last stuff packing…

I forgot about the ice on the car windshield and the fact that the car doors were frozen shut… and that the scraper was inside on the floor… duh?

No worries… made it to the bus stop with about 45 seconds to spare! And now, happily, I am recharging my computer, my phone and my body with starbucks coffee as I post you this little note.

Flight begins to board in about half hour… I’ve checked the time twice… just to be sure…. I’m having a time dyslexic thing lately… booked this flight one day later than I intended… no harm, really…. it was demo day at the trade show, which would have been fun to watch… but the show I am attending really gets under way tomorrow…. so all is well.

I have high hopes for this adventure… hoping to connect with the “right” people who will  connect me with the “right” people, etc. etc…. the whole point being to increase traffic to my blog, golfgurls.com and increase its value. I’m attending as official “media”… equal to (at least in admission status) to the likes of Bob Costas and NBC, CBS, Golf Channel, etc.

I’ve never been a media person before… I think it should allow me access to a lot of people who would otherwise not look at me twice…. as media person, they (the vendors) want me to tell their story… review their product, get their name out there…. so I should have some influence! And that’s something new!

I’ll keep you posted as to all that is happening. I’ll be about a mile from Disneyland, but no chance of going there… too busy being an important “media” person, after all.

Just a quick note to all my happy readers. It’s valentine’s day today… a day of love and romance… at least it is if you believe in Hallmark, Lindt Chocolates, and the FTD Florist….

I shall be spending my day humming a happy internal tune, trying to affirm myself for the fool I sometimes am. Am I loosing it? My mind does tend to wander… or is that squander?

Yesterday I gave my nephew a simple gift… not really a gift, just something I found in the house that I wasn’t using and thought he might enjoy…. Alas!!! It turns out to be a gift he had given me… that I apparently ooohed and ahhhhed about when he gave it, swore I would use it, love it, cherish it…. etc. etc…. and here I was totally forgetting it was he who had given the thing to me….! Red Face! Embarrassed…. Old Age Home just around the corner, people!!! Where I shall be left to drool in a urine palace… I can see it coming…

So you see, I must love myself madly now… As I shall soon be mad altogether! Is there hope for the flowers? Perhaps I should ask the FTD Florist when he calls. Sigh.

Could not remember what time my chiropractic appointment was this morning. I’m getting my mashed hand looked after. Well, it’s not really mashed, more like crushed and badly bruised.

Anyway… I overslept and then had to rush rush rush to get myself to the Dr.’s office for what I hoped was an 8 am appointment. Worked out all right. Appointment was actually at 8:15. I managed….

It’s been a wild crazy spacey day… and i was just thinking maybe I would skip the gym…. it has been a trying day already… but no… my sneakers are right here in my office, waiting for me… so I guess I’ll suck it up and go.

There is no question! I hear voices. GO TO THE GYM.

Maybe I will sleep better tonite for my efforts.

Ever have one of those days??? Chaos is my friend.

I’m baaaaaaahhhhhccckkk!

It’s been almost eight weeks since my last missive and I hear your cries of wonder…. “Wonder where the heck that Chapman Deering has gone?!”…. she was so interesting, so fascinating… so — how shall I say it, — such a compelling presence in your life? Perchance?…

Well… bottom line— I took a vacation—a working vacation (emphasis on working!) honest! in paradise… five weeks in sunny Florida. While the northeast was belted with one and another nor’easter and snow, and rain, and misery….! I was happily rising from my trundle bed each day to gaze upon the sunshine and palm trees of sunny Florida. I know, you hate me for it. But don’t begrudge me too much.

Most of those five weeks was spent literally glued to my computer, pounding out copy and art for a client who had a very strict deadline… stuff had to be done and at the printers without a hitch. So many days I never actually stood in the sunshine… just saw it, alas, from inside my air conditioned condo.

In the beginning I had high hopes of walking miles every day, and I did try… exploring the neighborhood, bouncing along the sidewalks to Lady Gaga tunes… but I tried too hard and damaged myself… I actually over-walked!!! and ended up a cripple with a bad back… and after that, well, I just figured I wouldn’t take any chances… so I controlled my urge for excessive exercise and decided to just relax and let the pounds pile on.

It was a struggle to stay put and not hit the pool every day. Oh the trauma! I know, I know, how brave of me to be reduced to an automaton… but thankfully, I am back in the saddle and looking forward to a chance to send you some fabu posts in the future. And golf is about to begin in earnest. And I do love to hit those little white balls.

Ahoy and all hail. Chapman Deering rises again. Alleluia!

I did a very dumb thing yesterday. I was happily sitting at my desk, typing away, working on something or other, sipping my second cup o’ jo, focused on getting work done, when the phone rang. I reached across the desk and just managed to knick the side of a very full cup of just poured hot coffee, tipping it over directly onto my lovely, highly valued mac computer keyboard. Yikes!

First thing I did was swear—under my breath of course. Then, knowing time was of the essence, I flipped the keyboard upside down so that whatever liquid was on the keys would run off, then ran to the kitchen and grabbed the roll of paper towels and rushed back to the desktop and began to wipe up the mess. I never realized how much liquid was in just one cup of coffee, or how many paper towels it would take to mop it all up. Sigh.

Needless to say, the keyboard was soaked. I tried to sop it all up, even got in between all the little keys and as I cleaned I kept hitting keys and testing to see if they were going to short out or send sparks flying. Nothing like that happened, in fact all the keys worked! And I congratulated myself on my quick thinking and fabulous dexterity.

But this morning, after a night to dry out, the tab key is dead, the shift key is dead, and essentially, the keyboard has a lot of keys stuck in modus non operandi. I don’t understand it. There was no sugar in the coffee… just half and half, and not much of that, either… I’ve heard tales of such things happening to eager beavers as they work… but I thought the stick would come with the sugar sweet cokes and pepsi drinks. Who knew, even coffee can short out a keyboard.

I could try to take the keyboard apart and clean it… but there are no screws. It’s all sealed in one housing without any tabs to snap open. I need my shift key to work….! Any suggestions?

I’m off to the land of my ancestors (at least half of them – father’s side). Been planning this golf trip since I became an Irish citizen last August 25. I have my passports (both U.S. and Irish), got my Euros… plus one ATM card that links to a bank with $$$ in it (always a good idea) – don’t want to use a credit card if I don’t have to. (The exchange rate is a killer.)

I had to buy a new suitcase. What with all the golf shoes, gloves, balls and sweaters I have to pack, plus some decent clothes for late night pubbing about, there was no way I could get 10 days worth of clothes into my overnight bag. And I’m bringing along my computer so I can blog back to you and let you know what adventures I am on.

I am traveling with a friend, Noreen, who plays golf with me on Thursday evenings. We will play golf at 4 different courses and spend a week traveling about the southeast of Ireland with our tour leaders the RedTees. This is a group that specializes in planning golf events for women and they escort us about to all the best places. No need to rent a car or find a bus or tour guide. They will travel with us and make sure we don’t get lost.

I’m looking forward to this trip and a look at the east coast of Ireland. In 2009 I traveled with my dear cousin Kathy to the land of Galway and the west and south. ( See photos on my Travels page.) Had a wonderful time and took lots of pics which I will share with you.

Am taking along my camera and a simple video 1 shot thingy… so will be putting up pics as we travel.

After our week of golf, Noreen is meeting her husband in Dublin and the two of them are heading off to Paris. I will be connecting with my friend Joanne who is living just north of Dublin. She promises to take me to all sorts of interesting spots, so there will be lots to blog about.

TTFN. I shall raise a Guiness in your honor, before, during and after the flight!

Believe it or not I still have a bit of room in my suitcase… and it doesn’t weigh the max yet… so there’s room for someone to climb aboard!

Actually, the way I escaped the additional weight problem was to move all my golf balls and the books I’m carrying over for a friend was to move them out of the suitcase and into my computer case. That I will be carrying onto the plane… So those extra ten pounds of Nike Crush balls are now free and clear. You don’t think that the TSA would call my golf balls nasty weapons do you? I think I shall be ok… the golf tees are pointy little things and more dangerous so I put those in the suitcase and they will go in the belly of the plane.

So it is now closing in on deadline time and I still have to go to the dump! Can’t leave bits and pieces of last night’s supper in the trash bin or the mice will come back for a visit.

Must water the plants too, put one more bill payment in the mail, lock up the doors and switch the cars about. Oh such fuss is part of packing! All worth it when I sit on the plane in row 13 and raise a glass to your health.

TTFN. See you tomorrow from the other side of the pond.

We arrived here in Ireland on Tuesday morning, picked up by our hostess and have been playing golf and wining and dining for three days. This is the first chance I have had to sit down and blog a bit. Having a great time. Tomorrow we travel into the city of Dublin for a shopping/tourist day, ending with a visit to a Hooly… that’s a pub where there is lots of dancing and original Irish music. Golf on Sunday and Monday still to come! More later!!!

Bear with me, this is a long post. Did not have access every day to the web… so here it all is now.

Written in Dublin Airport – Friday, May 20th – Flight in 2 hours
Well, it’s nearly done. I’ve been traveling through Ireland for the last nine days and today, finally, I’m in the airport waiting for my flight home to Boston.

What a great time. Played golf four times with the RedTees.ie (that’s a tour group that specializes in women traveling for golf) They were great and very generous, not only with their time but with their hospitality. We stayed at fabulous locations, played fabulous golf courses and ate at fabulous venues. It think I can say it was totally FABU. Overall I could not have been happier. Wish I could afford to come back for a second trip. If I can get seven other women to sign up for a trip I can travel for free! Anyone interested?

So – about the golf…. I didn’t play well… I sort of imploded a couple of times, but who can blame me what with the weather changing from warm and sunny to driving hail and rain? We had to pack our golf bags for both kinds of weather. The only thing we didn’t get hit with was snow! Otherwise, we got a sample of all the types of Irish weather we could experience. Especially on the links course on the last day of golf. A links course is right by the ocean, surrounded by dunes, high grasses and of course is a naturally wind swept course. You have to learn to keep the ball low and let it roll on the fast fairways. I had a lot of trouble learning how to be accurate against the wind. I would aim left and the ball would get caught up in a gust and land far to the right, usually in tall grass and nearly impossible to find, much less play.

I brought along 24 golf balls, knowing I would probably lose a few. I’m happy to report that I still have at least twelve… perhaps more of them are tucked in the bottom of my suitcase…. so it wasn’t a total washout.

My friend Noreen who traveled with me, had better luck. And she won most of the putting contests. I think I need to get my eyes examined. I’m not kidding. No matter how I aimed my ball, it always went just a bit to the right or left. I wear progressive lenses and had trouble figuring out which part of the lens to look through. You don’t think it has anything to do with talent do you?

Once golf was done the red tee ladies dropped me off at the Dublin airport where I was picked up by my friend Joanne. She lives here in Dublin and for the next two days we played tourist, visiting some of the big sights including New Grange, which is about an hour and a half north of Dublin – it’s a neolithic site discovered back in the 1600′s and restored to its original condition in the 1980′s. It looks like a big grass muffin on the top of a hill with a ring of stones around its base. They think it’s a type of Passage Tomb designed to allow the ancient ancestors to pass through from this world to the next. (One piece of trivia… Liz Hurley – one of the redtee ladies – lived in the area of New Grange back in the 60s and 70s and as a kid she and her friends would run all over the place… she even said they used to go into the structure and mark the walls with their graffiti. Probably took the archeologists lots of carbon dating tests to figure out which marks were from the neolithic inhabitants, and which from Liz Hurley and her friends!!!

We paid for a tour and were able to enter the sacred space and experience what it must have been like for the ancients. Scientists have discovered that each year just at sunrise on the morning of the Winter Solstice (the shortest day of the year) a slice of sunlight penetrates the tomb and fills the inner sacred chamber with sunlight. It is believed that the ancient souls could then pass from this life to the next on the beams of light… or something like that.

Each year thousands of people travel to New Grange to try and experience the actual moment the sun penetrates the tomb. There are so many that the Irish government has had to set up a lottery. Only 24 people out of the 25,000 who applied last year were allowed to be present inside at last year’s Winter Solstice event.

So that we might have a taste of the experience, the tour has set up a little electric light demonstration. I’m sure it’s nothing like the real event, but it was fascinating to watch the shaft of light cross the floor of the chamber and suddenly illuminate the space. Very Indiana Jones!

What else did we do? A lot of the streets were closed because the Queen of England was visiting, but the buses were running right enough. During my stay in Dublin:
•    I visited Trinity College and checked out the Book of Kells, saw the skeleton of the Irish Giant (a 24 year old who grew to 7 feet, 400 lbs or so before he died—bad disease I think.)
•    Took a tour of the Guinness Brewery and had a bit of a pint
•    Had dinner at Johnnie Fox’s and enjoyed a Hooley – a wild night of singing and dancing meant to entertain the tourists… and they did
•    Enjoyed the exhibits at the Chester Barret Museum
•    Walked down Grafton Street and shopped in Temple Bar
•    Visited Kilkenny Castle
•    Took a long walk along the sea wall in Booterstown
•    Ate lunch at Powerscourt and walked their gardens
•    Had a plate of bangers and mash (that’s sausage and potatoes) at Quay’s Pub (pronounced Keys) along with a pint of Guiness, on my last day of touring Dublin
•    And I learned to take the Dart (the local trains – like subways in Boston – but believe it or not, these run exactly on time!!! – amazing!)

So it’s been a great trip with lots of memories and pictures to share. I will be posting a gallery so you can see it all. Watch for it!

I had my progressed astrological chart done last year and this time of May is supposed to bring me much luck. I have been playing the lotto and scratching tickets all without any $$$$ luck. So I must look to my family and friends as my lucky charm. (The poor woman’s optimistic attitude.) After all I am above ground, playing golf, planting my spring garden, and eating BBQ. And with a visit from Mr. Dewar, life is just fine!

And I just had my toes manicured!!! Such luxury!!! First day in sandals, with more warm days ahead. Summer is nearly here. It’s kayaks in the water this weekend I think. Yahoooeeee.

All this a far cry from just a week or so ago when I was hitting golf balls out of high dune grass along the Irish sea. Here’s a photo sure to warm your hearts. I’m going to print up a hard copy as inspiration for my continuing improvement in the game of golf. 

It’s late Monday afternoon, Memorial Day weekend. Did I plan on doing anything constructive? When family arrives, it’s hard to plan, but surprisingly, I got a lot done in between the golf and the kayaks, and doing dinner on the grill.

Between my house and my sister’s backyard we had a lot of fun. And I was able to buy all my plants for the garden, including an obscure herb named “Chocolate Mint” which my sister from California uses in her tea in the evenings. Oh! We are becoming very organic. I also bought oregano, rosemary, parsley, thyme, basil of course, and some lemon balm and lavendar for teas and to make the garden smell lovely.

My nephew and his girlfriend and I tried out the local golf course… very tough par 3…  built like St. Andrews in Scotland… all rough and tumble with lots of places to lose your ball. It was a total hoot. They let us out on the course just after the members finished their tournament, but a few of those were still lingering on the 4th hole, playing something called “4s and 9s” where they can only use their 4 iron and 9 iron to play the hole. A bit of a challenge. So rather than wait for them to move off the 4th hole, we three just played the second and third holes again. Still lost balls and hit off a few trees, but it was fun.

Kayaking in the bay this morning… not I, but I was the one to drive the two younger adventurers to the water and help them haul the boats. Right now, they’re gone… trying to beat the traffic which is now backed up 18 miles according to the TV…. and I am quietly winding down, trying to get my act together for the week ahead.

I play golf first thing tomorrow morning, then back to the office for some serious blogging on my golfgurls.com site. I have neglected it since coming home from Ireland, and I must get something up there before my subscribers think I’m asleep at the wheel.

Hope your Memorial Day weekend was full of good things. What did you do? Any good grill recipes you want to share? I’m thinking of trying out a recipe for Duck Banana I just heard about… supposed to be scrumptious!

I just got my teeth cleaned. New dentist, new hygienist. Her name is Sue and she’s been doing this, by her own admission, for 40 years! So I’m thinking she must love her job… then she goes on to tell me that teeth are nasty places! Full of germs and bacteria and that if I don’t begin to floss and gargle I will be dead from the horrible invisible buggy things that inhabit my mouth every day.

This was a fun appointment, I have to tell you. I was feeling light and happy until I got into her chair. The sun was shining, the birds were singing! But leaving the dental office with my mouth thoroughly scrubbed, I hesitated to eat anything for the rest of the day. In fact, I think I brushed at least three times before bedtime. My teeth have never been so bug free.

But I won’t floss. I just can’t. It’s a matter of patience I cannot master and trying to get my fingers into my tiny mouth- impossible. Yes, despite the volume of constant chatter that those of you who know me personally hear whenever we are together, my mouth is very small and delicate. And trying to get both fingers and floss into the oral cavity to scrape between my teeth and gums, —forget it. I simply refuse to do it.

So you will most likely find me dead on the floor someday, overcome with oral bacteria, toothbrush in hand, floss no where to be found. Such is life.

So, be honest – do you floss? And if you don’t, what’s your excuse?

I made the big mistake of fertilizing the back lawn this spring.

And nature being what it is, the fertilizer is doing a bang up job and I have had to mow the lawn at least once a week. Lawn care is not my favorite thing. Especially when the grass is growing like crazy. Last week in my eagerness to simplify the process, I decided to change the level of the mower to the second stop up… which cuts the blades of green to a crisp 1″ length. Perfecto. Except the first push through the high grass made it look as if I had scalped the lawn. My sister was appalled. However, after zipping around the front lawn cutting up the weeds I returned to the thick blanket of 3″ grass growing in the square behind the house.

Now, before going further, I must explain that we have had quite a lot of rain these last few days here in the northeast, and although the sun was shining, the blades of tall grass were still a bit moist down deep near the ground. Also, one more thing— I am pushing a gas mower that has to be started by me bracing my foot against one of the back wheels and yanking the pull cord as hard as I can. It usually starts after 5 or 6 pulls, but by that time I am exhausted and sweating like a pig. The last thing I want to do is stop mowing before the job is done. I know I’ll have a heck of a time getting the $%!@ mower started again.

I never knew a lawn mower could be so fussy. Sure enough, the tall grass was too tall for the low setting on the mower and after five or six back and forths, the $%^@# mower stalled out, grass caught up around the blade. I used a long stick to clean it out. And tried to restart the mower. Stubborn thing just wouldn’t go. Too hot I guess. You’d think a warm motor would want to just kick right in. But no. Not this one. Had to wait 30 minutes and try again. One, two, three yanks. Nothing. Four, five, six… nothing. Wait another 30 minutes. Finally after waiting a full hour, on the third yank the motor kicked over and I was in business again. Thats when it started to drizzle and that was that. Grass clogged, mower stalled. I had had it.

Now the back lawn has a most peculiar look to it. Most of it shaved to 1″ of its life, the rest is now nearing 4″. What fun. I think I’ll have to do it with the weed wacker.

But hark!!! Summer visitors are due to arrive this very Tuesday. And among them, a tall, strapping nearly 15 year old, eager for a chance to show he loves his dear aunt. Right?

Hooray! I am rescued from the lawn. Yes?

Ever have one of those days when you started off to do one thing… one essential thing that had to be done and half way to doing it, you got distracted and ended up trying to be “efficient” and get four things done before you got to that one essential thing?

Here’s a short video I caught on youtube that pretty much sums up the feeling…

I make lists. Lots of lists. and get some level of satisfaction out of crossing things off the list, one at a time, or at least re-prioritizing the list, so that the most important things slide to the side, or to the bottom, or once in a while pop up to the top… I think it has to do with anxiety, or is it fear?

For example, I have to write an article for a national magazine! That’s right. At last, my fabu talent has been recognized. It’s a golf magazine for women, which is right up my alley. I’ve had it on my to do list for over a week. And it keeps bopping to the top and sliding to the bottom and then to the side. Well today, at last, I finally got to it. At least I tried. I started to write it and realized I had already written the article about a year ago. I dug through my old posts and voila! There it was. With just a tweak or two I was able to rework the old article into something quite acceptable. I was surprised how good the first one was. Hope the editor likes it.

I’ll let you know… in the meantime I still have dozens of little “to dos” on my list. And one of them I can check off right now! At least I wrote a post on this blog today. And that’s something.

What about you?

I decided after much deliberation, consideration and determination to finally make a decision about my next computer purchase. And decided to decline the computer in favor of an iPad. Not only less expensive but more easily carried as I travel hither and yon.

Only real problem is getting used to typing on a smaller keyboard. I know a blogger who uses only her iPhone to do all her blogging, but she has very tiny hands and very good eye sight. The keyboard on the iPad is not too small.

So typing like a hobbit takes a little getting used to. But I’m sure I will adjust.

. . . . .
It’s almost July 4th! I always feel like it’s like a summer Christmas. Decorations, family and feasting and fireworks. We are expecting a crowd. Even My brother will be Skyping in from Wisconsin!

Hope you have a grand holiday no matter where you eat your burger and buns.:-)

I’ve just had my first encounter with SunCountry airlines. As I write this post in my notebook I am flying somewhere over the state of Ohio -at least I imagine it to be Ohio or maybe Indiana… 
In any event we are high above the clouds winging our way to 
Wisconsin to visit my brother and family … A few days in the land of cheese and methane gas (lots of cows in Wisconsin!) My sister is at my side, playing greenbelt Sudoku and doing very well. 

We had a little glitch with the airline getting our seats. We booked through Orbitz rather than directly with th airline and there was some confusion about our place on the plane. We were supposed to be in row 6, seats c and d on the aisle. Instead we ended upd in row 19 a and b with me stuck in the middle. Fortunately they needed to “balance the plane” whatever that means and they were looking for a couple of people to move up to a couple of extra seats that were empty. Our Seats in row 6! The very ones from which we had been bounced. Luckily the fellow next to me and his wife moved up, and now there is plenty of room in our aisle and I even have some elbow and knee room. Amazing!

So what shall we do in Wisconsin? All to be revealed in due time. more later.

Such adventures we have had here in the land of cows, cheese and the Green Bay Packers. We’ve visited the birth place of Laural Ingalls Wilder of “Little House on the Prairie” fame… Been to the bluffs above the great and powerful Mississippi, and played a fierce and competitive game of Candyland! I won! Been a great time. We head out shortly. Pics and more travel excitement commentary to follow.

I have a nasty habit of leaving a plastic bottle of water in my car during warm weather, and then without thinking, I drink from the bottle the next day. or the next week… I’m notorious about not thinking about this.

My friends tell me that the plastic bottles, when warm and mushy, leech nasty chemicals (BPA and DEHA – a probable human carcinogen when in less than perfect condition.) Well! Who knew! I try to only use perfect plastic bottles, but obviously leaving a perfect plastic bottle all day in a hot car leads to an imperfect container and a likely center of distructive toxins for me if I dare to sip the contained liquid!!!

So. Beware and be smart all you plastic bottle sippers who use less than perfect bottles for summer refreshment. Dump the buggers and get another container made of some other materials.

Check out REI.com (http://goo.gl/4ijDc) to find a bunch of good water bottles that won’t kill you on the spot. Worth a look.

Other happenings: I’m presently visiting friends in Maine, playing a fabu game of golf at the local executive par 3 course, eating, drinking and hitting the beach for the afternoon. Tonight, more friends are gathering for a party. And in the meantime, I’m sipping water from a disposable, perfect and safe plastic cup. Chow!

You just won’t believe what I’ve just been through with my phone company! and the nasties I very nearly said “Yes!” to. Oh, just an edge of a cliff I have been on! What horrors.

You may think me a bit hysterical, but when I tell you what’s nearly happened, I’m sure you will agree.

First, about the Cram Jam. Lisa Meyers of the MSNBC’s Today Show recently did an exposé of all things cramming. Telephone companies who add or allow third parties to add products you never asked for, never wanted, never knew you had agreed to, to be added to your phone account. Millions of people are being suckered into paying billions — BILLIONS of dollars for stuff they don’t want or need or asked for. And they don’t even know it. The phone companies promised back in 1993 to self regulate third party add-ons and prevent them from robbing us, but the phone companies make $$ on every transaction and they are not about to stop it without customers screaming!

Most of us don’t pay a lot of attention to our phone bills. I don’t usually bother to study my account, but when I got a bill that seemed a little too high last month, I began investigating. I had been away and knew I had not incurred long distance charges, so what was the $39.94 additional charge for anyway?

Turns out there was a third party special feature promotional thingy for a website I will never use (I have my own domain as you know) and some “golden” opportunity web keyword browser thingy…. BOGUS. I called the phone company (my company’s name begins with the letter “V”) and told them to not only get rid of the charges, refund the difference, but put a permanent block on my phone account so no third party nasty could add some additional program or feature I don’t want or need. They did it. And at least for a while I thought I was safe.

That is until this afternoon, when, for the fifth time this week, I got someone calling me, claiming to be from “V” phone company, and telling me of all these discounts I was being awarded. The woman’s accent was so think I could barely understand her.

Now, I want to be tolerant of heavy accents. I can’t speak Hindi, so why should someone half way around the world speak “Cape Codian?” So I listened and tried to figure out what fabulous discount I was getting. I got the whole thing mixed up in my head and somehow thought it was confirmation of my earlier discussion with the phone company about the third party blocking, etc. I got as far as agreeing to whatever they wanted just to get them off the line, and then she said I would have to speak with some verification service to confirm my agreement to recieve all these fabu discounts.

That’s when I became suspicious! And rightfully so. I finally hung up on the bunch of them. Of course, I immediately felt badly… I should have more tolerance. I should be more pleaseant, etc. etc.

BUT!!! My suspicions that the whole thing was a nasty hoax were confirmed, when I spoke with my phone company this afternoon— complaining that their reps from foreign lands are impossible to understand and if they want to offer me some discount they should have someone call me who speaks English clearly!!! Well!!! Come to find out, “V” the phone company, only has two offices in the U.S. and NO Foreign Offices or representatives. It is all BOGUS!!! and I nearly fell for it.

So… fellow phone callers… be awake and aware. Only deal with your phone company directly. Check your phone bill and look for strange fees. If you find any, get them removed and get a block against third party crammers on your phone line ASAP. And hang up on all those unintelligible sales people who try to con you out of a good day’s dollar!!!

I’m mad! And you should be too!

Yesterday was my sister’s birthday. She loves to tinker about the house, fixing this, repairing that. When I recently received an email from Staples offering a free 33 piece “quality” tool kit (worth $39.99) if you bought over $100 dollars worth of office supplies, I thought “Hey, a birthday gift! for my sister! And it’s FREE!”

Now you may think me cheap… but I’m not— not exactly cheap… more frugal when it comes to some things, and then totally extravagant when it comes to others… and I’ve been known to give gifts to others that I have received as promotional gifts from vendors, i.e. Gevalia coffee who is happy to give you coffee pots, coffee containers, cups, thermos kits, etc if you would only subscribe to their coffee service.

Anyway…here was a perfect gift for my tinkering sister and it was FREE. I didn’t need it and I thought she would like it. so I decided to give it away. Now, understand, it wasn’t the only gift I was giving. I had a couple of other items in the birthday bag that I had purchased. But I happily wrapped up the “quality” tool kit and stuck it in the bag with the other items. I was going to tell her it was a freebie…. I really was. But didn’t get the chance. My other sister in whom I had confided, happily burst forth with the information just as the birthday girl was unwrapping the tool kit.

“You know, that tool kit was a freebie! Chap (she calls me Chap) got it for FREE from Staples!” I could have kicked her.

If I had only had a chance to explain first! As it was, the birthday girl just laughed it off, but I was a bit humiliated, and a bit annoyed at my second sister who had revealed the sordid truth. — But it was a good thing the truth came out when it did, and here is the crux of the matter and the reason you should never give away freebies without careful consideration: My sister proceeded to open the tool box to check out all the “quality” tools and there tucked in between the hammer and pliers was a note from Staples.

“We hope you enjoy this FREE gift from Staples. Thank you for being a great customer.”

GAWD! The free gift was sure to be found out no matter what!!! What was Staples thinking?

Anyway, we all laughed, my sister loved her other gifts, and all is well in the family. But let this be a warning. DO NOT GIVE AWAY FREEBIES TILL YOU CHECK INSIDE THE PACKAGE or you will be discovered or revealed as the cheapo you are — not that I’m cheapo.

Hurricane Irene is about to hit Cape Cod, and with winds up to 120 mph… this is going to be a fun ride! I have had to do some serious preparations. They are telling us to prepare for 3 days of no power! I don’t believe ‘em. I plan on playing golf on Monday, so it better be a sunny day.

First, to the dump to get rid of old bags and boxes and bits of smelly things that I certainly don’t want in the house if I’m stuck here.

Then to the super market. Everyone was running around buying all the things they already have in their cupboards…  just to be safe. You know, extra bread, extra peanut butter. I filled my basket with Cape Cod Potato Chips and Helluva Good Dip Onion Dip! I did buy some blueberries… the non-organic kind with the toxic bug spray on them… very tasty on cereal. Oh, and I bought a box of cereal.

Then it was on to the liquor store to get the serious supplies. Mr. Dewar and I have been separated for most of the summer. Mr. Gordon of gin fame and his pal, tonic water have been more in favor through the hot days and evenings… but on such an occasion as Irene’s visit, I thought it best to revert back to those solid friends of good old days and forgotten evenings. So I’m prepared in that department.

I even made a pot of coffee that I will put on ice. If the power goes out I still need my caffeine fix and cold coffee has as good a kick as hot. (Thank you P. for this fabu idea.)

As for the “Hatches” in my title? I’ve taken down the outside shower curtain, tipped the picnic table on its top, moved the grill in under the porch, mowed the lawn, harvested all the ripe tomatoes (now I have to make sauce – anyone have a good recipe for tomato sauce????) and I’m now blogging here at my computer determined to ride out this storm with joy, rapture, camera at the ready and a good sense of humor.

Hark! I hear the first wave of rain on the windows… Irene is almost here. Stay tuned.

I woke up to what I thought was a roaring wind. Air rushing by… Oh no! Irene has arrived! Duh? I had forgotten to turn off the fan in my bedroom.

As long as the electricity holds out I shall be putting in occasional reports about living with the likes of Irene. Right now the winds are picking up, but as you can see from this little picture, the streets are drying out! Rained last night a bit, but nothing too much. I still have the windows open and the front door too. It is very humid and if I were to close everything up I think it would become quite stuffy. Just in case you are wondering all that white in the foreground of the photo is a bed of shells with weeds… it’s NOT SNOW! or HAIL!

The reports are that Irene will get to Long Island around noon, so I figure the full force will reach here much later this afternoon… so it should be a good day for blogging reports. TTFN. I’m off to get some java.

We have massive winds blowing up the street and shaking the tree tops… but I still have the front door open, and the fresh air is lovely!!! The wind chime at the bottom of the stairs is ringing wildly. Love it.

Right now I’m off to do some ironing in front of the TV… I usually do this on Sundays watching Meet The Press or some such program, but every local TV station is running radar images of the storm… I guess those of you in Central Mass are getting slammed with rain… but here on the Cape, all is dry but windy. And not so bad, either. So I think I’ll watch a movie instead… I am totally bored with the storm coverage. Poor broadcasters… running around trying to make something more of the storm than it is… the last I saw, the winds were dying and the storm breaking up, losing power and becoming just a nasty nor’easter, which we all can handle.

Twenty years ago without the radar coverage, the tweets, the internet to get us all worked up, we would have thought this just a windy day!!! I’m going to walk to the beach in a while to take pics…unless of course the rains finally come. Stay tuned. My ironing is calling.

Here’s a quick screen capture of the storm via NOAA radar taken just a few minutes ago… It seems to be skipping Cape Cod altogether. Should I be sad?

I finally shut the front door. Winds are probably getting close to 50mph and I thought that a bit more than I wanted funnelling through the house… what with pictures on the walls and papers flying… so now with only a few windows cracked, things are getting a bit stuffy. Still I shall carry on bravely.

And NO RAIN yet!!! It’s just a super windy day here…. wonder how those boats in the harbor are fairing… I’ll take pics a little later when the winds die down abit…. Stay tuned!

The internet has been offline since early afternoon… sorry you must have thought I had dropped off … or been swallowed up by vibrant forces of weather… alas, no… nothing so exciting.

I kept the front door open most of the day, enjoying the brisk 40mph+ breezes… and they are almost done here on the Cape… The property suffered minimal damage… just a few loose branches that fell delicately to the ground, one catching on the clothesline… otherwise, not much of anything… .and luckily, no rain!!!!

We had a dry very windy storm rush through… once the morning dawn arises in the east I shall go out and take more pictures and post them here… Thanks for hanging in there with me. It’s been a wild ride today.

I had great plans to get up early, take my time getting ready, sip my coffee in the sunshine, wander aimlessly through my many garden paths… but time is rushing by, I am still in my bathrobe, and my coffee is now getting cold. So I gotta run.

Today, the RedTees arrive… those two ladies from Ireland who entertained myself and my friend Noreen back in May. Delayed by more than three days thanks to hurricane Irene, we have a big task to squeeze in as much golf as we can in the four days they are here in Massachusetts. Today we had scheduled Ballymeade in Falmouth. Several fellow golfers are joining us… although the RedTees don’t arrive till this evening – we still had to go through with it all…. I must suffer with another round out in the bright sunshine, under the blue skies of Cape Cod, playing, playing playing…. Maybe someday, with enough practice, I will be better than I am right now.

There is definitely room for improvement. And if nothing else, playing golf on a work day improves my attitude if not my handicap.

More later, once the ladies arrive.

Photos Never Lie!

My sister found this photo while digging through our family archives, and I just had to share it with you all. It’s a photo of my dear cousin Kathy and myself being clever in the backyard about 40+ years ago! She is about 3 or 4 in the photo… which makes me a “should no better” teenager!

We used to put on all kinds of shows for the neighbors and charge them pennies so we could go to the local store and buy treats! And this was long before the internet. Can you imagine what we could have done if there had been a YouTube? I suspect this was one of my more clever “disappearing” acts! I’ve never looked better, don’t you think?

Well, you know fall is finally beginning to creep into consciousness when you finally give in and put on a pair of socks. I had to do so this morning, and it is a sad day when the sandals go to the back of the closet. After all, it is still officially summer and it will be till next Wednesday, the 21st… but the air is chill in the early mornings now and I am a softy when it comes to the chill… so socks it is.

That, and pulling in the outdoor furniture…. at least the hammock stand… although I still think there’s a chance for a few more hot muggy days to swing in the shade.  I’m reconsidering perhaps…

I still keep the front door open during the day… but by dusk it’s closing in on 40 degrees…

Sigh. Hate to see the summer end.

I’m busy working away like the proverbial busy bee…. all the while my small tin of second (maybe it’s third) day spaghetti is warming in the toaster oven. Yummmm! Second day spaghetti is always better than first day. At least it seems so to me, an Irish gal with a taste for Prego sauce… (I know… don’t scream at me.) It’s just that I have never been able to make a decent sauce… probably because I always forget to buy the right ingredients at the store in proper preparation. And I end up using ketchup as my base. Not a good idea! Trust me.

So, lunch is bubbling up and I am working. Just turned on the heat in the office. The chilly nights have gotten into the building at my workplace. Time to turn off the auto cool and turn on the auto warm.

Three days until summer finally flies away. This year it seems to have passed so quickly. Sigh. And the news just declared that halloween pumpkins are going to be scarce as hens teeth… too much rain ruined the harvest. Time to get out there, dig up the summer flowers and plant a few gourds for the squirrels to chew on.

Sigh again.

I’ve never been very good with exact dates of the season changes… happens mid morning sometimes… so is today the first full day of Fall, or did that happen two days ago? Somehow I have the 21st stuck in my head as the day of the great turning… but who knows.

Today is a rainy indoor kind of day. Many errands to run. No food in the house. Lots of dust bunnies running about. Lots to do… and yet it’s a day for a good movie and some popcorn. What should I do?

If I stick with my plan, the trash will get to the dump, the dust bunnies will end up in the bin, there will be food on the table, blogs will be written, the bank will have my money, my computer will be fixed, the mail will be picked up and the laundry will be done, ironed and folded. But whhhhhaaaaahhhhh! I want to just sit and watch a movie or read a book. It’s that kind of day…. and my inertia is kicking in quickly. That’s what happens as the weather gets cooler and the days get shorter and I feel like hibernating.

Sigh…. maybe if I take a shower that’ll get me started?

If you are a golfer, you know what I’m talking about. And if you’re not, you probably could care less. But, alas, and deep sigh, I am a golfer—not a good one, but a golfer just the same, and today, deep sigh, the US Solheim Cup Golf Team lost to Europe, — only by a point, but that was enough.

It’s a big deal for women golfers. BIG DEAL. Only comes around once every two years. And Europe has only one three times in the last fourteen contests. And I fully expected the USofA to pull it off again. But no. It was not in the cards.

Ok, so we’ll give ‘em this one. But just wait until next time!

Do I sound like a pathetic red sox fan? Today the Red Sox are playing the NY Yankees … and the wild card spot in the playoffs hangs in the balance. Or maybe it’s already too late. I’ve been watching the web for golf for so long I forgot to check in with the home team.

What is it anyway about fans and their dream teams? Why do we invest so much energy following our favorites, dreaming of the Big Win! is it all vicarious? Do we really live through our heroes?

Maybe so.

I don’t know which is more annoying. I have two terribly serious issues to discuss and deal with in this blog. Neither can I control. (I know people are dying in the streets of Syria and starving in Somalia, but I can’t control far off political issues. These two terribly serious issues I can try to deal with here and now. I need your input.

The first is a whistling toilet. All of a sudden the other day, the blue toilet on the second floor started whistling every time I flushed. This has never happened before. And as far as I know I’ve done nothing of a personal or mechanical nature to cause this ceramic bowl to start making weird sounds. I do what everyone does in the bathroom, I then flush, the water goes down in its pretty little spiral, and then suddenly, the toilet begins to whistle. It goes on for a full minute or so as the water slowly fills back into the holding tank. And it’s loud!! And very annoying!

The second issue that is causing me no less pain, is spider bites. Must have happened two nights ago. These little red spots appeared on my right arm and hand in no particular pattern… but VERY itchy. I have not been in poison ivy and I’m pretty sure it’s not shingles. AND I have a spot on my right eyelid that is driving me crazy with the itch!!!

I am using Gold Bond medicated lotions, creams and smears to try and keep the itch under control. I check and shake out my sheets before I get into bed at night.

I think it’s a conspiracy. The whistling toilet is driving spiders out of the loo and into my bedroom at night where they attack my exposed body parts.

This is not funny. I want to break the toilet and drown the spiders. There must be some way to do that. Any ideas?

Some of you, my dear and faithful readers may have noticed a bunch of ugly trash comments appearing on this blog. Trust me. I did not ask nor solicit any of them. In fact i try my best to delete any and all trash spam and trouble comments as soon as they appear. But you can’t keep everyone from putting in their two cents…

So… let it be known… if you have ever commented on this blog and seen your comment posted, you are probably fine and ok to continue to comment… if you find when you try to comment that a little note appears saying your comment is being held for the administrator (me) to approve it, well— that’s part of the new system to try and eliminate all the spam trash and trouble.

I’ve got the system set up that if you register once and have at least one comment approved … you should be able to comment freely in the future. So keep commenting.

We’ll see if this system works. Thanks for your patience.

By the way, the spider bites are still itchy. Any remedies??? Please advise.

It must be something I ate, but I can’t imagine what…. or perhaps it’s some new soap or detergent I’m using?

Makes no sense. I’ve been over and over my diet and laundry details in my mind and nothing can account for the strange and very itchy string of little bumps that keep appearing in odd places on my body. First my arm, then my torso, now my leg, now my neck…

I did what most internet savvy people do and I checked out WebMD and looked up my symptoms… I think it’s hives. Nothing else explains it…. and the cure? Avoid the food or soap… duh? if I could only figure out what it was! and pop an anti-histamine product like Benadryl, which, taken every four hours does keep the itching at bay… that and hydrocortisone which I need to replenish — I’ve squeezed the tube dry.

If you have a suggestion I’m open to hearing it.

I’ve heard that people develop strange allergies as they grow older… is this a sign of my “growing up?” Sigh…. what else can I look forward to?

If you’ve been following this blog for a bit of time you know that I have been battling with a fierce and terribly severe itch!!! And it is not a virtual itch, but a cosmic itch of grand proportions. (I do tend to exaggerate!)

I’ve tried everything to quell the fire! Finally, I gave in and called the dermatologist to see if she could squeeze me in for an appointment. Luckily they had a cancellation. Now you must understand that my doctor is about sixty miles away… that means two hours of driving through heavy holiday weekend traffic…(I live on the Cape and it promised to be a fabu weekend for tourists, weatherwise)… I really didn’t want to go. I even took a picture of the scars and offered to email it to her, but no… she had to see it in person… so I made the appointment and Friday I headed north.

Well, the mystery is solved. It’s not brain cancer or skin cancer or sclerosis of the liver… though I suppose that’s always a possibility. What I’ve got is a good old case of poison ivy!!! And where did I get it? How did I pick it up? And more importantly how did it show up on my belly? I was NOT rolling around in the evil ivy in the buff — at least I can’t remember doing that… (this is where the sclerosis of the liver kicks in… one too many on a warm autumn night????)

Anyway… I think it had to be the golf ball in the bushes. I was playing a round of golf a couple weeks ago and rammed my tee shot into some deep brush. When I went into the undergrowth to find the ball, I must have touched some evil ivy. And my ball probably had the evil ivy oil on it as well. That nasty stuff never goes away and if you don’t wash it off right away, it spreads… which is why the itchy scars started on my hand, then appeared on my arm and finally on my belly. I must itch at night in my sleep!

It’s all still nasty. And I am using drugs and hydrocordisone to kill the itch. But more importantly I have to clean out my golf bag and toss all the balls and tees that were stored in the pocket that held the evil ivy oil covered ball…

It’s not too too bad… most of my golf balls were lost in the woods during my last round. (I’m playing rotten golf at the moment.) But this episode has taught me a lesson. No more found balls… if it’s in the woods, let it go. And don’t pick up any strays. Who knows where they have been!!!

Heading off for another golf adventure… this time to Hilton Head with the Tee Club, the women’s business group I play with each Thursday evening during the summers. We’ve planned it since last year and there are 16 women piling on the bus and heading south via US Air early tomorrow morning. Right now, I am warming up an old rotisserie chicken and making myself supper… then heading north to meet a friend in Plymouth… we are going north before the crack of dawn.

Packing a golf bag is a trick…you have to hide the balls and towels and shoes and all the bits and pieces and jamm it all into place inside this specialty bag. Lots of padding including my own special pillow. That wraps around the top of the clubs… one more protection against the bag handlers!

So not much more to say… will keep you up to date as to my superlative golf!

Last week I was playing golf in the sunshine of South Carolina! And tonight? The winds of Cape Cod are driving sleet and rain against the storm windows. Fire is burning on the hearth… Scotch in the glass… Cheese and crackers on the plate… Music in the background.

Finally turned on the heat in the house… Waited till the temps hit the low 50′s and the chill was in my bones… But it was enough. That and a guest visiting for the weekend. Warmth is a wonderful thing to lift the spirits on such a cold raw night.

Might play golf on Tuesday if the sun ever returns. Et tu?

Well the grand holiday has come and gone, …. but not without some memorable moments.

Halloween morning, getting into the shower I heard one very loud “crunch.” As I am almost blind without my glasses I had to wait until I was finished and back on dry land before I could inspect the source of the sound, but I suspected and realized my suspicions were true. I had stepped on one of the biggest spiders I have ever seen. It was crawling around inside the tub!!! Thank goodness I did not see it ahead of time. Poor Daddy LongLegs went to his just reward.

Decorations… I did my best with the little I had— An old branch, some quality toilet paper to simulate ghosts moving in the trees, and a couple of candles in plastic pumpkins to line the walk. My sister who is the queen of halloween and has every decoration you can think of, lent me her scary ghoul that is motion activated… each time the kids got close to the door in their trick or treating, the ghoul started moaning. The treaters thought it was cool.

And finally, to keep myself occupied while I kept watch for the visiting tricksters, I decided to watch a scary movie… one that is quite famous but that I never saw! The Exorcist!!!! Ohhhhh. It was a true treat. With green slime, and turning heads, shaking beds and all things nearly dead. The special effects were scary once, now just funny to observe. But the story has its moments and some flying bodies. Well worth the hour to spend… witching, watching, tricker treating. OOOOOOOoohhhhhhhmmmmmmmm. Hope you had a good one too.

The future is already here. QR codes* are these weird little snippet graphics that have website urls, phone numbers, all sorts of information embedded in them, ready for you to scan with your smartphone and connect with your favorite vendor or website. We are even putting them on business cards and stationery! Don’t want to miss a trick.

If you lived in Japan this image would be old hat. They’ve been using QR codes for quite a while. (They were created by Created by Toyota subsidiary Denso Wave in 1994 to track vehicles during the manufacturing process. Thank you Wikipedia for this tidbit.) Look around and you will suddenly begin to see these graphics on cereal boxes, store windows, invoices, you name it.

And does chapmandeering.com really need a QR code? Why not? Seems like the marketing edge we want to be dancing on. So here we go.

*A QR code (abbreviated from Quick Response code) is a type of matrix barcode (or two-dimensional code) first designed for the automotive industry. More recently, the system has become popular outside of the industry due to its fast readability and comparatively large storage capacity. The code consists of black modules arranged in a square pattern on a white background. The information encoded can be made up of any kind of data (e.g., binary, alphanumeric, or Kanji symbols – from Wikipedia.)

Would you like to have your own QR code? all you need is a website url…. it doesn’t have to be yours… it could be… say, DISNEYWORLD!!! and you could put it on a T shirt, and if anyone bothered to scan your shirt with their little smart phone they would be instantly taken to the disneyworld website… Wowsa. Now ain’t that something.

To get your own little QR code, go to this website, http://qrcode.kaywa.com/ fill in the blank spot with the url of your choice and voila!!!! Ain’t technology grand?

It’s cold. Amen. End of story. 38 degrees out there this morning. Luckily I have my down comforter so only my nose was cold when I woke up this morning.

But sometime in the night when I did my usual trip to the loo the heat was pouring out of the upstairs radiator. I do not understand. I had set the timer on the thermostat to drop the temp down at 10 pm! But the heat was still blasting away. Trying to reprogram the timer on this gizmo is always a problem at this time of the year. It is a pain in the neck. I had kept the heat off until this past weekend when a friend came to visit. Couldn’t have her sitting in the cold, so I cranked up the furnace. And now, the timer and temp gauge are all screwed around. Sigh.

I’ll figure it out, but until then, I think I’ll turn the heat off all together and just put on layers. I mean that’s what sweaters and hats are for, right? I’m being very careful about the heat this season. The oil company almost doubled the cost of a gallon of oil this year! So I’m shopping around for a good price. In the meantime, I’ll re-read the instructions to set up the thermostat and try to have patience when the furnace won’t turn off at 2 in the morning and I’m bumping into things trying to find a flashlight to read the gauge in the dark.

What do you do to conserve? Anyone got a fire pit going in their living room?

Sitting in front of the fire… Listening to npr radio… Waiting for Prarie Home Companion… Sipping scotch and nibbling chips. Cold outside but no wind. A perfect night to just stay in and hang loose. Spent the afternoon cruising JobLot… Buying some quality treasures.. Then home to a yard full of wild turkeys! You have to keep your distance! Enjoy your evening.

I’ve been running around a little too much… no focus… and feeling a little scattered... Got to focus on the task at hand, which unhappily is raking the lawn. At this time of year it is so easy to find something else to occupy my time than taking rake in hand and cleaning up the yard… but it has to be done… I tried burning leaves a while back and was thwarted by the local Boy Scouts… and I’ve tried mulching… but you have to get to the leaves when they are dry… fortunately the air is crisp and the sun shining so later today might be a good time to do it… but the sun goes down so early now… and I certainly don’t want to mulch in the dark…

And there is always the danger of the wild turkeys! A herd of them came across the front lawn the other day and headed down the street… must have been a dozen… all squawking and running… I took pictures so people would believe me in case I got attacked…

I did go after some rose bush vines that were hanging dangerously in my lawn mower path… so I trimmed those… I much prefer trimming to mulching…

And now, of course I am just babbling on and on, avoiding the inevitable trek to the backyard to fire up the mower and mulcher… ! And my goodness. Look at the time. Where has the afternoon gone to???? Time flies when you are trying to avoid doing something you really want to avoid! I’m good at that.

It’s happened again… night of the full moon and the sky is filled with clouds and rain. What’s with this? The astrologers tell me that this is the most powerful full moon of the year… with lots of positive karmic energy ready to burst forth on wee little people like us…. but, alas, it’s hidden. And it’s hiddenness begs the question, “If a full moon appears in the sky but no one can see it, is there really a full moon?” In other words can the cosmic forces only exist if and when we actually engage with them, through sight or sound or touch or smell or whatever…?

Of course, if I worked on a psych ward of a hospital, or taught fifth graders (are there similarities?) then I probably wouldn’t be asking the question. The full moon moves the tides, tweaks the personalities and causes who knows what waves in our existences?

Am I getting a little too philosophical for you? You see, the full moon does have an influence! Even on myself, who, stuck in this office without windows can only imagine that large blue white orb in the sky coming up over the Atlantic.

If you live anywhere but under these New England clouds, get out there tonight and check out the rising! And let me know if you see it.

Yes… it is that very magic moment as I type this cosmic missive. Wishing each of you readers grand positive vibrations in your astral field and positively fabu prosperity as the sun turns round the moon and grand design unfolds! (I think I got that astral reality a little mixed up… moon should turn around the earth which turns around the sun….- sorry, I’m working on it.)

I’ve decided that before next year is out I shall play golf at The Green Monkey golf course in Barbados! Saw a glimpse of it on the Today show this morning. I deserve to stay at the Sandy Lane resort and be feted on fabu foods and mahvelous cocktails. Want to join me???

Check out this grand adventure: http://www.sandylane.com/

Only $1,400/night double occupancy… Fabu fabu!!!

Tell you what, I’m always on some diet or other… so if I lose 30 lbs in the next six months I will definitely make the trip in celebration! Just think, svelt me on the shores of Sandy Lane and the fairways of The Green Monkey. Tra La tra la!!!

ok…. it’s now 11:05… the cosmic moment is done… back to my office and desk….- a cloudy day on Cape Cod…. sigh. But to keep the dream alive I’m going to bookmark SandyLane and put a photo of me with my golf clubs right there on my wall. YES!!!!

I just picked up an email from a friend who sent me a great video… titled, “The Greatest Anti-Retirement Video of All Time”…. ! It is too cool. You have to see this woman in action!. Crank up your sound and give a listen! Hot Child In The City, Baby!

Although the subject is a little too earthy for most, It was just too good to pass up. It’s all about poop. That’s right. Poop! Specifically, the poop pile my sister found in her walkway the other day. It was the third time she had found a little treasure left behind by some four legged mammal and she was determined to find out which neighbor was walking his or her dog onto her property and allowing him to leave such a treasure behind without picking it up.

I agree, it’s not a great calling card to find some little package in the wrong place in your driveway, but hey, life is full of earthy realities and dogs have to do their business, and I’m sure the dog walker was not intentionally trying to annoy her… etc. etc. I tried to calm her down.

Well, that argument would not satisfy, and so she called the local dog officer at the police station. He suggested she not jump to conclusions. “Take a good look at the poop pile,” he suggested, “and if there are little bits of seeds and hair and other odd things, then what you’ve got is a Coyote! lady, not a dog.”

She called me up. “I need you to take a look at this poop pile I just found in my walkway. It might not be a dog, after all. Come over and help me identify the source.”

I love my sister. I really do. But this was asking a lot. Still, she helps me with my raking and my mulching and my attempt at growing plants, so I agreed to head over to her house and examine the little pile of earthy treasure.

“Yup. Hair, seeds, bits of who knows what!” I pronounced. “You got yourself a wandering Coyote!” She asked me to take a picture so she could send it to the dog officer.

I’ve never photographed poop before… and I really wasn’t happy with the idea of having the image in my camera… but I took the picture — and hey, with a little doctoring and color enhancement, it almost looks like abstract art! Of course, I had to add it to this article as a point of illustration, so you could see it too. Wouldn’t want you to miss out. 

Today is the last day I was going to play golf with the ladies league… but 31 degrees is just a little too cold for me to hit the links. I put out my long underwear… it’s hanging on the hook of my bedroom door, and I set the alarm for 6 am with every intention of getting up, taking a hot shower and heading out… but then I heard the weather report. 31 degrees with the promise of a high of 45 degrees in the middle of the day. It’s just too cold for golf. My bones creak and the balls go flying, bouncing in odd directions. (The Mass Golf Association won’t even let you count your score at this time of year. Can’t trust the courses to not be a frozen tundra.)

So I snuggled down under my coverlet and let the time pass. I will take all my golf equipment out of the trunk this morning and store it all in the cellar for the off season, or until I decide to travel south for a month or two in the early spring… I am SO TEMPTED! For the last two years I have been lucky enough to get a few weeks in the sunshine in March. My “cruise happy friends” were off traveling and I got to use their condo. This year, the lure of the sunshine in the middle of a cold grey winter is calling to me. But I shall have to decide soon… the best places have all been snapped up.  Luckily I am going to be in Florida next week and I’ll have a chance to look around and check things out.

And then of course, there is the hope of Hawaii in April if I can only lose 36 pounds. That’s my psychological reward. We shall see. But enough about that for the moment. It’s time for breakfast. Got to get my sausage and bacon on the grill.

It’s a little odd to see twinkling stars on pine branches on an indoor Christmas tree when there are tall majestic palm trees swaying in the gentle breezes just outside the window. Today we set up our friends’ tree for the holiday season. Took about an hour to pop the artificial branches into the stand and hang all the balls and baubles. Splendid result.

Christmas in 80 degrees. Takes a little getting used to. But I think I could manage without the snow plows and soggy mittens of the north. Then again, there is nothing so picturesque as a New England snowfall on a soft hill with the sound of sleigh bells in the distance.

I must admit… I am never satisfied. What I really want is time travel combined with a very fast ticket to many locations so I can appreciate the warmth of the south and the atmosphere of the north during this season.

More later.

Just got this video via email and thought it only fair to send it along to all of you. Many thanks to Ann S. for including me in her Christmas forwarding. Hope you enjoy the holidays whatever you may celebrate!

Note: there is a very short 6-8 second delay before the video begins… hang in there. It will begin. Remember patience is a virtue!

Get ready for the New Year. We’ve got serious propositions coming your way.

Well… it’s been a couple of grand weeks, what with the holidays, and the family visiting and the gifts and the returns, and the food and the whirlwind of action ….and much as I wanted to write in my blog, my energy level has been low… I caught a nasty case of shingles… I know!!!! I hear your cries of “Oh My! Oh My!”… but actually they weren’t all that bad… I have a friend who has suffered with them recently and at the very first sign of the “tingles” and “pings” of pain, I called her up for advice.

“Get yourself to a doctor ASAP and get drugs.” she told me. “If they catch it in time it will all dissipate rather quickly… otherwise – prepare yourself for a hospital visit and a drip to send nasty medicines into your bod.”

So I took myself to the local walk-in clinic, — the doctor confirmed my fears, and I got some happy drugs that are taking care of the plague before it gets any worse.

So you can see why I haven’t been blogging. Been spending too much time popping pills and staying away from little children who are vulnerable. At this very moment I am missing a pizza party with my cousin and her 4 little ones… I will miss them, and they me, but they will thank me when the kids stay healthy.

I promise I will write up some profound, end of year, thingamebob that will outline all the good times of the year gone by and with hopes for a brighter one ahead. But that’s tomorrow. Right now I need to drive home and have a meeting with Mr. Dewars. TTFN

On this day of all days I am tempted to look back at the year just passed and reflect on all the good and wondrous things that have come my way. So many adventures, challenges and opportunities! And I am grateful for every one of them.

Among the highlights of course is my trip to Ireland in May with my golfing buddy Noreen… And the red tees!  A week in the old country is worth a year anywhere else on the planet.

My second highlight was exploring the world of Pepin Wisconsin and visiting with my brother. Hot days by the Mississippi! My sister Claudia And I took an adventure walk downtown…  I dressed in “The Pepin” look to disguise my identity!  Lots of fun. And my third highlight was golfing in Hilton Head in October.

But now, home and sitting by the fire and thinking deep thoughts of the future I realize that I have so many new places to explore… I am intent on indulgence, and enjoying every minute of the coming year. Not only exploring far off lands… But trying out new foods… Taking a cooking class in gourmet foods, learning a new dance step or two… I tried Zumba once and failed miserably… But there must be a class in cha cha cha that I can handle… Just looking at the possibilities!

All my best wishes to you for this coming year! Indulge and enjoy!

It’s only 9am on January 1st and I am well on my way to fulfilling my resolutions:  eat more and exercise less. Had a big breakfast, 3 cups of Jo and one very small Almond Joy! Savoring is the name of the game.

In just a bit of time the rest of the house will be up and moving and I can begin to drag the boxes up from the cellar. Today is the day we take down the tree and pack away all the holiday decorations…always a little sentimental… Another holiday passes into memory. And it was a very happy one.

All best wishes for a great new year ahead… Savor each moment… Indulge in all the things you enjoy most. Make each day a celebration!

Tra la Tra la. Time for a savory clementine! Yummmmm.

I’ve been playing a silly online video game on my iPad called Trade Nations. In the game, the player builds a little village into a trading center… Growing crops, digging stone and cutting wood for lumber and building… You don’t need to know all the details… But the images of unfurrowed ? fields stretching far off into the distance… All that potential for growth and opportunity… For building something worthy… That’s the image I see for the year ahead: it’s an open field full of potential… And there are lots of possibilities!

One I shall share with you…. I want to take a group of women golfers on an extraordinary golf adventure to the island of Lanai off the coast of Hawaii… Very exclusive, very expensive… My target market is the very affluent… A week of unlimited golf on two of the most fabu courses, in accommodations that cost $$$ each night…top of the line. Price without air fare for a week of golf in paradise… $8,500.  Its a lot to me, but to someone in that monetary stratosphere it’s nothing… A drop in the bucket.  Why do I want to target the affluent? Because it takes as much effort to market to that group as it does to market to any other…perhaps even less. And the rewards are greater. And what of the rewards?

I have already promised at least 10% of any profit to the Komen cancer nonprofit organization… And that might even be a selling point.

So that’s one little adventure I’m thinking of taking… And it will begin to fill that field of potentials and possibilities.

Am I nuts?

During the last few weeks while my family were here for the holidays, I slept more soundly than I have in a long time. There were some nights when I could sleep right through the night without waking at all. My sister even commented on it. (I often wake her when I stumble about on my way to the loo.)

But now that they have gone back to California I find I am tossing and turning just as before. Maybe I get two uninterrupted hours… But then it’s back to the radio, or reading, or just tossing and turning. Also why the sudden flip back? Why can’t I sleep soundly?

I have a couple of ideas…

• I don’t think it’s because I’m suddenly insecure without someone else in the house… That’s bogus… I’ve been alone in the house for a long time (aside from the ghosts and spirits who are quite friendly). So I know it’s not that…
• I’m watching TV just before bedtime… Maybe it’s the bright lights of the TV… Some say that can overstimulate your brain?
• Actually, I think it might be drugs. During the two weeks of holiday time I was on pills for that case of shingles I wrote about… Don’t remember the names of the pills but they really helped… Shingles are gone. Drugs are good.
• So what do I do?  Chamomile tea before bedtime doesn’t seem to be doing it.

Any suggestions welcome!