Ok… I Agree — This Post Is Pretty Crude!

Although the subject is a little too earthy for most, It was just too good to pass up. It’s all about poop. That’s right. Poop! Specifically, the poop pile my sister found in her walkway the other day. It was the third time she had found a little treasure left behind by some four legged mammal and she was determined to find out which neighbor was walking his or her dog onto her property and allowing him to leave such a treasure behind without picking it up.

I agree, it’s not a great calling card to find some little package in the wrong place in your driveway, but hey, life is full of earthy realities and dogs have to do their business, and I’m sure the dog walker was not intentionally trying to annoy her… etc. etc. I tried to calm her down.

Well, that argument would not satisfy, and so she called the local dog officer at the police station. He suggested she not jump to conclusions. “Take a good look at the poop pile,” he suggested, “and if there are little bits of seeds and hair and other odd things, then what you’ve got is a Coyote! lady, not a dog.”

She called me up. “I need you to take a look at this poop pile I just found in my walkway. It might not be a dog, after all. Come over and help me identify the source.”

I love my sister. I really do. But this was asking a lot. Still, she helps me with my raking and my mulching and my attempt at growing plants, so I agreed to head over to her house and examine the little pile of earthy treasure.

“Yup. Hair, seeds, bits of who knows what!” I pronounced. “You got yourself a wandering Coyote!” She asked me to take a picture so she could send it to the dog officer.

I’ve never photographed poop before… and I really wasn’t happy with the idea of having the image in my camera… but I took the picture — and hey, with a little doctoring and color enhancement, it almost looks like abstract art! Of course, I had to add it to this article as a point of illustration, so you could see it too. Wouldn’t want you to miss out.  🙂

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Monsieur Poupon
Monsieur Poupon
9 years ago

I’m curious as to what the local dog officer was expected to do if it had in fact been from a common canine.

CDeering
CDeering
Reply to  Monsieur Poupon
9 years ago

Dear Monsieur Poupon…. to answer your question… I have no idea what the dog officer was expected to do, unless the pooping got bigger and more frequent… then we are talking security cameras to track down the varmit and owner… lay traps? dig a trench? hire a hunter? who knows what could be possible to halt such a scurge!!!

Daffyhill
Daffyhill
9 years ago

Ok, you’re sister isn’t that crazy. The story didn’t go down exactly like that. Not all the poop was coyote poop my dear. Coyote poop is called scat to those in the know. It means that something is hunting in my yard. Provided it is hunting for mice and moles it has my support. The photos were for the purpose of research. However, if you think you can sell them on e bay as art you have my permission and support. If you can find some scat which contains a holy apparition in it you could make millions!

Mr. Pooper's neighbor
Mr. Pooper's neighbor
9 years ago

This posting really hits home. I have a neighbor (I call him Mr. Pooper) who insists on walking his dog across my lawn on his way to “do his business”. Very aggravating! If your sister comes up with any solutions to the poop (not scat) problem, I would be very interested.

Pooper Dooper
Pooper Dooper
9 years ago

My my… slow news day to say the least! I say, bring that poop into the garden and let it do its JOB! Be thankful for fecal matter to fertilize your garden of eden… praise the poop… worship the poop… give thanks to the ALMIGHTY for the gift of the poop!

(and by now, I’m pooped and going to bed!)

xxoo

CDeering
CDeering
Reply to  Pooper Dooper
9 years ago

Pooper Dooper!!! You have the right attitude. Let the poop prevail and feed the elements!

Daffy Hill
Daffy Hill
9 years ago

The dog officer said the next step would be to talk to the neighbors. I put up no trespassing signs and that might have made a difference since I haven’t seen any dog poop since. There are fewer dogs being walked now that the weather is getting colder. We shall see what happens in the spring. If dog poop reappears I will use the more direct approach of posting no poop signs (available on the internet) They will probably be stolen the first week I put them out!