This is Why Free Shipping Is the Only Way to Fly

If it wasn’t for free shipping LLBean would be bankrupt. In fact, if they keep sending me jackets cut way too small, they will be bankrupt. And I got bed sheets after all. Confused? Here’s the story.

I got sheets for Christmas this year. Really nice sheets. Soft yellow sheets made for a King sized bed. That was the first problem. King sized sheets – a little big for my double mattress. In fact almost double the size. No matter how I pulled and stretched trying to tuck the oversized sheets into shape… It was a waste of money and time. Though the sheets were lovely, I decided I needed a jacket more. So I got the info from the giftee of the sheets and sent them back for an exchange. Sheets for a short chino jacket. Red. Size?  My size of course. Back the sheets went to LLBean! Easy peasy. Free shipping!

Five days later the red chino jacket arrived. Excited, I immediately tried it on. Too small. The label said it was my size, but the Pygmys must have made it. Tiny little people who obviously don’t have broad shoulders or breasts.  There was a two inch gap in front. No way was I going to pour myself into this jacket. But before sending it back for a fair exchange, I called LLBean for size advice.

“I just got a jacket made by the little people,” I told the sales rep. “No way is this jacket the right size!” She defended her company.  “I’m sorry for your troubles, ma’am but all our manufacturers follow strict sizing instructions. Standard sizing.”

We want back and forth a bit about the problems with sending all our U.S. jobs overseas and the fact that the women of Thailand are tiny, but the argument was going nowhere.

“So what size do you recommend I get in exchange?” We decided on the next size up. The sales rep was a big woman and understood my issue with cup sizes and broad backs. “I think the next larger size will be fine. The sleeves might be a little long but they are designed to have a cuff.” I agreed. Packed up the jacket and sent it back. Easy peasy. Free Shipping.

The replacement jacket arrived this afternoon. Tried it on immediately. Just so happened the original sheet giftee was visiting and I wanted her to see what I got in place of those king sized yellow sheets.

I knew as soon as I tried to twist my arm into the sleeve that the second red jacket was not going to fit. Yes, it was the next biggest size, but still too small. The little women of Thailand were still enjoying their little joke. I’m sure they work from the patterns sent to them, manufacturing the jackets to exact specifications. They just change the labels and size everything down three levels. A 10 label is really a 6, a 12 is really a size 8, and a 14 is actually closer to a 10!!!

I’m certain it’s a conspiracy to bankrupt LLBean. If the company is constantly having to pay both ways for shipping products and exchanges, they can’t last. UPS charges will send them to the bottom of the retail ladder, and i will still be barely squeezing into my clothes.  I know, LLBean is a big company and I’m just paranoid. But there might be a shred of truth to the argument. Yes?

I will call the company in the morning and order an exchange. But this time I’m jumping two sizes. maybe then they’ll get it right. Sigh.

Do you have these problems? Or am I the only giant in the world when it comes to getting things to fit?

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A little person
A little person
9 years ago

Take your measurements and compare them to the guide either online or in the catelog…that should help you translate your measurements into their sizes 🙂

CDeering
CDeering
Reply to  A little person
9 years ago

I sent the thing back and asked for the next two sizes up… It may swim on me… And then I will send it back again… The last time this happened I ended up sending a coat back 4 times!!!

Ree Aliti
Ree Aliti
9 years ago

And, like sizes, why are they making print smaller all the time?

CDeering
CDeering
Reply to  Ree Aliti
9 years ago

Sizes are definitely smaller… Though my body is getting bigger as well… But that’s no excuse for having little people change the tags!

Daffyhill
Daffyhill
9 years ago

They were queen size sheets fit for a queen! Maybe you need a queen size jacket!